A, B, C's for Seniors... The New Aging Alphabet!

THE ALPHABET

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now - The New Aging Alphabet

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
Perhaps card-i-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.

H- High blood pressure - I'd rather it low;
I- For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend;
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind.

*I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping 26 doctors fully employed!!!

Comments for A, B, C's for Seniors... The New Aging Alphabet!

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Negative Attributes
by: Anonymous

This read as a sad and mean spirited poem. I hope to find one that makes someone feel happy to be where they are and not reminded of all the bad.

Worth passing around
by: Oakwood Village Senior Apartments

Can I have your permission to publish this in our Independent Living Newsletter? If so, please let me know who to give credit to?

Wendy: This is on several senior websites, all without the author name. I don't know who submitted it here either! It was too good not to approve, but I did research for a name, but didn't find any. Just use good ole "Anonymous" as the author. OR Compliments of Retirement-Online.com :)

What a gift..
by: Regina

I really think that script was really fantastic. You have a gift of gab.

Aging Is Scarey!
by: GOLDIE

This definitely sums it up! Thanks for sharing.

An Alphabet of Optimism
by: JoAnn

Your poem is structurally very good. It would be great if you would write a similar poem about the positive attributes of aging. Yes, I believe there are many.

The New Aging Alphabet
by: Patti - La Grange Park, IL

If you could find someone to illustrate this and publish it, it would be a best seller - hysterical. You have talent - keep plugging away!

What an alphabet
by: Donna Augusta, Mo

Great ABCs love your humor. Wow funny how we think now.

New Aging Alphabet
by: Joe W.

Just wondering if you have self-published your writing outside of the Retirement Online? I notice that there are many talented seniors in the liberal arts field but for some reason they don't want to take their talent seriously; or get to the next higher level of creative productivity.

What about you?

Joe W.
Seniorpreneur

Now I Really Am Depressed
by: Linda/Nevada

This alphabet confirms that old age is the last dismal part of your life. Heaven help us all!! This was probably supposed to be humorous but I don't see the humor. I only see the ugly truth about where my life is headed.

Spot on!
by: Sheila, Cambridge Canada

Couldn't have done better myself!

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