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Adult Children, After Retirement...

Boomer retirees often have adult children, returning home again, and sometimes also aging parents -- both of whom we assume responsibility for.

Sometimes our adult children simply return home (with their own children) after a divorce, sudden unplanned disability, job loss, foreclosure, and with financial problems. It's not an easy situation - right at the time when you are trying to budget your retirement.

OK, so some aging parents take in their adult children... kids who return to the nest (later in life) so you, the parent(s) can help take responsibility and financial problems off them.

They often move back home with baggage too: financial burdens, depression due to divorces, children to raise, and more... Sometimes, they move the whole family back in with the parents (your own kids, plus their spouse and kids). Yikes!

You love them, but Yikes!

Just think for one moment. Let me run a few scenarios by you:

What if your divorced daughter with two children suddenly wants to move back in? What if your 40-year old son, divorcing, moves in and becomes Mr. Party Man with bar hopping and different dates every night while YOU pay the bills? Heck - maybe you have an adult child who has never left home at all?

Family is Family - and as family we help each other out. We are Family!

However, maybe you should think ahead -- establish some rules before the adult children move back in, so that the living together situation isn't never-ending and the circumstances work out for both parties.

Some of this (maybe ALL of this) won't matter to some families and yet a small thing like who selects what we watch at 7pm every night -- Dr Phil or Deal or No Deal -- could be a huge issue and make the household not so happy!

Just THINK about it.. that's all.

Checklist for Helping you Live with Family Members:

Financial -

  • Who does the grocery shopping and who pays for the food each week?
  • Who pays the bills?
  • How do you split the costs?
  • What if something happened to your child's job? They are suddenly unemployed, can you afford to pay the bills for the household?

Lifestyles -

  • Who cooks every night (it takes more preparation for a whole family compared to just you)?
  • Who cleans the house?
  • Does your child work full time and expect you to keep up household chores as it's your home?
  • Are you expected to be home at 3pm when the kids get home from school?
  • Do you babysit regularly when they go out on the weekends?

Just think ahead.. this could work out beautifully for you - both families share the bills, nobody lives alone... sometimes it's a win-win for both the aging parent and the adult children... and then again, maybe not.

Set some ground rules so every family member knows what to expect from the beginning...