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Divorce at Retirement

Divorce and Retirement seem ill-fitting to me. You lived and made a life together for all these years, and suddenly WHAM -- divorce happens.

First -- you need to think about your marriage in retirement. Everything suddenly changes -- good or bad -- depending on how you handle it.

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS - You might have a good understanding on how finances are handled in your household. BOTH partners should always be aware of where important documents are located and how much you have in savings, and how expenses fit the grand scheme of things.

QDRO / EDRO's are court orders issued in divorce situations to assure that spouses share retirement benefits. If a divorce happens after years of marraige, don't miss out on this benefit, don't simply give up your rights to a future benefit... (click the QDRO link above to learn more).

On the other side, BEWARE! One woman was married for 30 years, and her husband pushed her towards retirement. He came to my office with her to help her in the retirement decisions and calmed her retirement jitters -- just like hundreds of other husbands have over the years. Fine.

NOT SO FINE -- within months, he was living in Florida (she was still in Michigan) with a "blonde bimbo" as she calls the new partner. Retirement was locked in, he gets her lifetime pension at her death. She is suddenly retired, single, can't make it on her pension alone and is two years from Social Security. She has to return to work, sell her home, figure out reduced living expenses on a smaller income, and try to work through the huge emotional burden of betrayal. There were signs, she didn't see them until it was too late.

Let's Discuss how Retirement Affected Your Marriage... Good or Bad


  • Did you both work before retirement? If you both worked, did you retire at the same time?
  • Did you talk about retirement -- or did retirement just "happen"?
  • Did a "new retirement" depression happen?
  • Did the newly retired partner start to help out with the household work more? how did it work out?
  • Do you have your own activities and friends for some time apart from each other?
  • Please share your thoughts on marriage after retirement... what made it work, what was negative?

    Share your marriage/retirement experiences with visitors!

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