Funny Retirement Jokes

Got a great Retirement Joke? Send it to me!

The first one below, in BOLD text, is the best I've ever heard, grin, and I actually REMEMBER it too (it's that good!)

Hey Retired Guy, How many days are there in a week?
Retiree's Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

When is a retiree's bedtime?
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

How many retirees are needed to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it might take all day.

What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
There is not enough time to get everything done.

Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.

Why do retirees count pennies?
They are the only ones who have the time.

Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal

What is the best way to describe retirement?
The never ending Coffee Break.

What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

What do you do all week?
Monday to Friday; Nothing - Saturday & Sunday I rest.

... whew, that was a LOT of WORK!