Good Life, but just not happy.. WHY?
by carol
I'm 68, lost my abusive husband to alzheimer's. My younger sister and I had to take care of our sick mother since we were teenages, after our father bolted. She died 30 years ago. I'm realized my college dream including a Master's in my 40s even though my husband threatened to harm the kids if I went to class. I could not afford to leave him as I didn't have a decent paying job. The part time job I had and scholarships paid for my education. Then I got a decent job and he got alzheimers, became psychotic and a locked ward was his home until he died. My kids are married, live nearby, hear from two of them many times during the week, my son calls occasionally expecting me to call if I need help in anyway. My girls include me in many events, besides babysitting for them. So why do I feel so down on myself. It's like I can't enjoy happiness. I enjoy my 5 grandkids (ages 1-7) they are at that age where Grandmom is wonderful and perfect. No bills, house paid for. So why can't I enjoy life and be happy. I took my work week done to 4 days a week and have health benefits. I know the boss would like me to retire. I have resisted this for two years, becase I needed money to fix up my old house and get all the bills paid off, which I did. I belong to a great health club, go occasionally. why do I feel miserable? I have a nice house to retire in, live in a town I like, love my kids and grandkids. have decent health, a car, a health club, a dog, a cat, 2 fish, talk by phone everyday to my sister and visit her once a year. don't have a huge retirement amount but will get by. so why do I feel blue most of the time? Has anyone else dealt with the blues, and anxiety when they should be happy? Wendy: Carol, It certainly sounds like you've got your retirement under control and should be able to life a happier lifestyle. Who knows the workings of the mind? Not me certainly. Some folks have a harder time than others retiring.. so boss or not, if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. You'll know when you are... One thing -- if you don't know what you'll do every day after you retire, it's a good idea to consider that before you do. If not, being a bit down already, retirement could really send you into a tailspin. I wonder what your occupation is, must be something you love since you went to college late and got your degree at 40! Is there some way to use that after you retire? Some way to stay active in your field, and yet, not have to work every day? Could you be a consultant after you retire? Write a book or website? Volunteer somewhere where they need your expertise? In today's economy, so many organizations would be thrilled to get an educated volunteer.. you feel good getting out and helping, they get someone who loves their volunteer job. How about a new hobby that would take you into retirement? Something you did years ago? Something that you could meet new friends and share with same? Many opportunities and adventure await you~!!!
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