Guilty is the word I'm looking for

by Charlotte Cannon
(New Orleans)

It seems to me that what I feel most about being retired is guilt and that seems a problem for others too.


Not knowing to do with ourselves is a part of it but only a part. Although I did not choose to retire, I think I feel guilty not working?

Anybdy else?

Comments for Guilty is the word I'm looking for

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Just Living
by: Fern

Don't forget exercise and physical movement, it is very important as a coping method.

Your thoughts are the key. Thoughts may be controlled if you learn the ways.

Explore and brainstorm new activities and new approaches.

I sometimes feel more constrained because it is harder to do things when companions are not around, but I do find out what I can do by myself and make sure to do that.

Work
by: Barb

What about going back to work part-time? Do something different than what you retired from.

Thanks, folks
by: Anonymous

I thank those of you who commented on my "guilty" post. And for the person who is feeling guilty and worthless, I am sorry you are having to g through this but that is the way depression works and meds will eventually help.

I appreciate the kind thoughts and welcome them.

In answer to some questions, I retired 3 years ago this June. My job was eliminated and I was not prepared to retire. The people I thought of as my friends mostly worked with me and were party to the decision to eliminate my job.

I have no children nor grandchildren. My husband retired in May 2014 but he is depressed too. The depression is not new - we have both been clinically depressed for years.

We have lots of stressors now - some still related to Hurricane Katrina (10 years). The state of Louisiana is horrible and we feel those effects. And Abilify (one of my husband's meds) is $900 a month and not covered by insurance So he doesn't take it.

Gotta do something!!

Working or contributing??
by: Teresa Miller/Florida

I agree that many Boomers do have to cope with feelings of guilt as they first retire--related to that old school work ethic and a mindset that if you're not working, you are not valued.

I believe that is quickly changing and I'm finding (in my 2nd year of retirement) that most of my peers have found lots of ways to contribute in new ways. We are still working but not for pay--now we are working to help others in ways we couldn't do before.

There are so many volunteer opportunities out there. And perhaps one of the most valuable and easiest contributions can be sharing all you've learned about life with your own children and grandchildren.

There's no reason to feel guilty-just find ways (large or small) to contribute to making life better for others!

Tell us more if you can
by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

Was retiring your personal choice or was it your time?

If you chose it, were other people around you deeply affected by it financially? Or were you psychologically burned out and needed to call it quits.

As you look back on your history, did you feel you had worked hard and probably worked due more to inancial pressure from others , family, or yourself?

The dictionary defines "guilt "as having committed a crime or offense.

For most of us, guilt is also defined as a" feeling of responsibility or remorse for some real or imagined offense."

Since everyone on the planet has felt remorse at something they
may have done, unintentionally or deliberately, you have the whole world standing beside you with some kind of guilt.

It may be time to empty this guilt out of your heart and mind and "visually" see it washing away . In its place realize that a new energy is on the rise that allows you a new way of being deservedly useful to yourself and others.

Trust each day, and watch what happens. Keep in touch.



RELAX
by: Loyce!

Transitions require time and patience. Employment usu requires structure/habit/pattern and without same we experience a feeling of loss and this is natural for we have lost part of ourselves and it is up to us to fill up the empty space with choices:

Activity; hobbies; friends/fam; volunteering and/or another job; classes/workshops; recreation. We have to reach out and seek what is available. Go out and meet others and/or invite others IN. Become familiar with offerings/events in your community.

Be patient with yourself as you discover new experiences/peeps and even yourself.

Guilt
by: Carolyn

I feel guilt because I feel worthless since retiring and the other part of it it that I chose to retire quickly without thinking what I would do with all that time especially since I live alone.

I have a lot of retired friends and they are doing well with it -its just me - I am so depressed I can hardly function and its been a year trying medications and a doctor.

Every day yawns open with nowhere to be and being depressed the cycle goes on as I haven't the interest or motivation to pursue friends, make plans or volunteer although I am trying.

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