I Feel Like God Is Laughing at Me

by Linda
(Nevada)

Like so many other people, I was laid off from my job because of a company buy out. I, too, did not plan on retiring until I reached full retirement age for Social Security.

I was 62 when I was laid off. I drew unemployment benefits until they ran out but I could not find a job. One prospective employer asked me where I see myself in five years. I had to really hold down my comments and my sarcasm.

I filed for Social Security at 63 and so here I am, poor as a church mouse. What really makes me angry is the last evaluation my company gave me on my last day of employment. They stomped on my self esteem and made me feel like the worst employee they ever had.

It has been two years since I was laid off but the anger still lingers over me like a big black cloud.

Unfortunately, I never acquired any hobbies or additional skills outside my accounting job so it is almost impossible to find a part time job to supplement Social Security. I have never been a social media follower so that is also a drawback to finding work. I have tried to get work at home jobs but they are difficult to get because you have to compete with people all over the United States.

If you do the math, you can end up spending more money than you earn with some of these so called "flexible jobs".

I now find myself asking the question, do I want to live or do I want to die?

Comments for I Feel Like God Is Laughing at Me

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God laughs WITH us, not at us
by: Sheila, Cambridge Canada

No, God isn't laughing at you. He knows what you are going through and is sorry that you think that about Him. He has done all that He can for you so far, yet you forgot to thank Him.

Even now, when you are at your lowest ebb, you can make up for that omission by remembering the good times every time you feel bad, and thank Him for that and for your continuing life and whatever good health you have.

Go outside and breathe the pure country air. Take whatever exercise pleases you while admiring your surroundings. If you have a garden, get your hands dirty and wonder at how plants rejuvenate themselves, even without your help.

You can be rejuvenated, too!
I Feel Like God Is Laughing at Me
by: Linda/Nevada

I want to thank all the readers for their kind and encouraging comments. I have tried some of the suggestions I have been given but with no success.

I live near Las Vegas NV. The employers in this area don't want older, slow people. They want youth, speed, and tech savy people.

Some of the employment ads I have read are so ridiculous I can't believe what I am reading. My accounting skills do not include experience with QuickBooks which is about the only software that most companies use. It is not enough to just take a course or read a book. Employers want multiple years of on the job experience with this software. Many employers got burned during the 2008-2009 recession period with employees who claimed to know how to use QuickBooks but instead made a mess on business owners books.

I guess I haven't healed enough from the depression I am dealing with to go out and fight for a job. If you present yourself to a prospective employer, you need to show confidence and enthusiasm. I just don't feel those traits right now.

I am not comfortable with children or pets and caregiver jobs require more references than I can provide. I am an introvert who is not comfortable with people. I guess that's why I stuck to accounting all those years. Bookkeepers are not known for their sparkling personalities.

If I take a low paying job I will lose my Medicaid benefits and I could risk having my Social Security benefits reduced if I go over the threshold amount for earnings. I have often told people I believe that the United States is one of the few industrial countries in the world where it sometimes does not pay to work.

I have crunched numbers over and over and the result is still the same. I would probably lose more that I would gain by taking a job. I would not be able to afford health insurance if I lose Medicaid and Obamacare would cost me penalties.

This is why I believe God is laughing at me. I'm trapped in a hole I can't seem to crawl out of.
I understand
by: Marsha

I too was laid off 6 mos. before I turned 62.

I don't believe God is Laughing at us but I feel the rest of the world is.

It has been five years and I am still mad. I was active in lots of community service jobs, etc.
When I lost my job I lost all interest in that.
I sat on my couch and did nothing.
I have craft talents but no outlet for that. I live on a ranch far from town and neighbors.

The cost of my insulin tripled this month and I am not sure how to live on nothing but my social security.

Many times I think why hang around!
But I am. So should you.

I feel like one day it will get better.
Look at Child care
by: Christine

I work part-time doing child care. It's flexible and pays well. There are always people looking for help with their children before and after school.
retirement jobs
by: Brenda in Virginia

There are part time jobs out there you might want, I work as a bus aide for county schools. Before that I worked at a grocery store as a cashier part time.

I am planning on looking in Home Instead maybe part time job helping with seniors in the evenings.

Change is hard but we have to put effort into it and look. Good luck with your endeavors. I also am taking a positive attitude I am healthy and not stuck at home like some people.
Exit Interviews
by: Anonymous

It's funny how historically glowing reviews suddenly turn negative as management decides it's time for you to go!

I am 60 and feel the trend coming. Our church is in budget crisis and I plan to manage the front office as a volunteer. My wife still works and we should be able to squeak by if we cease our current giving.

There is no shortage of need for someone who can provide services for low or no compensation.

If you are not married, perhaps a roommate or two?
It will get better
by: Donna Augusta, Mo

So sorry Linda that you were treated that way, You have to let go of those past hurts and I know it's not easy.

You have a purpose you just haven't found it yet. Do you like animals? You can volunteer at an animal shelter. There are so many things you can still accomplish.

Please keep looking and stay on this site it is very helpful.

Let us know how you are doing. I too am 62 and know how it feels to flounder. Get involved with a church meeting others is very helpful.
Live or Die?
by: Sheila, Cambridge Canada

Of course, you want to live. You're just feeling sorry for yourself and you'll make it worse dwelling on some unkind remarks your late employer made.

You worked in accounting, so you have that skill. And you obviously can use the computer. I have a daughter with the same skills and when she was laid off one time she looked for people working from home who needed her skills. They would send her their documents online and she would send them back completed. Sometimes she would visit them at home, making new friends.

She is 65 now and plans to do the same whenever she needs the funds.

Meanwhile, forget the bad things that have happened to you and make a list of the good. Read it every day and thank God for your blessings. While you're alive, you have a job to do or you wouldn't be here. Look for it and give it your all.

Good luck and happy hunting!
just keep trying don't give up
by: Nancy

Don't give up, we are here for you in the Retirement group and will find the support you need. You will find a part time job, somewhere, eventually that you like. I wish you all the best and sent you my support.
Live in Hope
by: Anonymous

Even thou the hard days hit and dark days come on this side of heaven, I know that you can still hope. The enemy wants you to feel as if you are trapped inside a dark room without any doors to escape.

However, remind yourself you are not trapped in a room, but simply walking through a tunnel. This too will pass. Thank God for walking with you through the dark days and giving you Hope even when you can't see the end.

Take care and live in Hope.
Erase the black cloud
by: Elna Nugent/Lenox, MA

Dear Linda: It might be a good idea for you to sit down and make a list of your good qualities which you know you have. Keep the list.

If you have accounting skills, you can be of service to others by working at home. Facebook will create a page for you about your service offered and it costs nothing...absolutely free...for as long as you want.

Check out other accounting services online and see how they operate.

Instead of a black cloud, imagine a shining sunrise over your head.

There is so much you can offer. Practice smiling when you get up in the morning, a warm pleasant face can get you anywhere. Pretend you are an actor with a rewarding role to play.

We'll all be rooting for you.



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