Lost in the Future of Retirement

by Nelly Teo
(Malaysia)

I shall be retiring next year (2016) and don't have a worthy clue what to do post-retirement or how I would respond to the stateless state...

Well meaning advice (solicited or otherwise) share similar thoughts on keeping busy and the likes, I have small plans on doing little tasks which are not necessarily meaningful but time whiling in the name of keeping busy.

I have to be in that situation for an update on how my mental and physical state is going to be post-retirement. I am one who have often associated self-worth to a job... So its gonna be a tad difficult for me to disassociate with that mindset.

In addition, work or support groups for retirees are far and few between this part of the world where I come from.

Catch up in due time... Keep well!

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Thanks All
by: Nelly Teoh/Malaysia

For sharing your interesting and well intended replies to my post. Am glad that each of us will just have to find our own way into the future - as with all phases of life...

Meantime, stay healthy and informed!
Get found in retirement
by: Gordon G. Kinghorn

I read this article with great interest - it is an astonishing read to say the very least, a mere three years ago, I could have been the author of this somewhat desperate prose - such was my dismay and disenchantment with the prospect of retirement - not any longer!

One thing is for absolute certain, the clock continues to tick, irrespective of one's personal objections or futile resistance to unavoidable retirement,time and tide does not engage the 'pause' button because newly-evolved retirees can't determine how to spend the rest of their lives without being slaves to the workplace - time therefore to get real good people.

In addition, this latter-life quandary proves to be a real flop in the conversational department, I talk from bitter experience, especially at those genial get-togethers such as family party's or golf club BBQs - normally happy events that are tragically transformed into arena's of gloom, thanks to the presence of some Joe Bloggs retiree who has been rendered inert in the art of engaging in social intercourse - offering only dismal daitribe, laced in indulgent self-pity, ergo; "Poor me" and/or "What am I going to do with myself now".

It took the premature passing of a golf buddy of mine, to bring home the salient factors concerning retirement once and for all, my friend worked incredibly long hours at an engireering company - and for over thirty years, I sometimes wondered how he ever possessed the strength to play a game of golf, such was his work schedule - he too inexplicably fretted about his post-employment years, he need not of worried, three and half months prior to hanging-up-his-boots for the final time, he died instantly at his desk, late one Tuesday evening in February, the victim of a massive cardiac arrest.

I attended his funeral, only one person showed up to pay final respects on behalf of the organisation - she being a part-time industrial cleaner, one who brought with her to the funeral service a card and wreath from his for paymasters - time to get real good people, if you are unable to get the thought juices flowing as to your richly-deserved retirement - then it's time to look for the tap, release that torrent of ideas available to you and live the life!

As for me, well, on lifting myself from the above-mentioned symptoms, I departed UK shores and headed for Chiang Rai in Northern Thailand. The weather is wonderful, the living is inexpesive and the people as warm and welcoming as you could wish to find.

I spend part of my day writing, another segment I give over to personal fitness, (Gym) with the remainder of my day taken-up with issues within the community, plus a little golf when schedule permits.

Everyone has a solution to their retirement anxiety, there is a Thailand-scenario for everyone, and you won't have to travel to the distant Far East to claim it. Nope, thousands of miles you have no need to travel, a mere six inches is all you shall have to traverse in order to secure retirement Nirvana - the approximate measurement between your right and left ear - have a great life!

Gordon G Kinghorn
Northen Thailand
May 2015

WENDY: KUDOS to you, Gordon! Time to live life, enjoy life... it is gone all too quickly!
Support Groups for Retirees
by: Joe W.

Nelly,

I think that too many people become lost when they start their retirement life. However; to prosper you need a retirement plan in addition to a financial plan. You hit it right on the head when you say that there could be more relevant second or third act transition workshops. We definitely need an alternative for the senior center.
Thanks!

Joe W.
retirement
by: diane Canada

I retired almost 2 years ago and really did not have any plan and not a lot of money. Like you I was very work orientated and had few friends outside of the office.

I decided to follow up on all of the things I never did before because I was working and raising a family. While I worked I was in management and had staff I never really worked with the public so now I find I really like working with people ....so do things I don't get paid for but enjoy....so explore what you always wanated to do but never had the chance and go for it...retirement is wonderful...
TRANSITIONING
by: Loyce!

Most of us are transitioning/changing/adapting and have more freedom/time.

As a non-joiner living in a community filled with groups/clubs, I make my own way by golfing daily, alone, but open to others. I practice my tap dancing; work out at the local health club and oversee my book exchange in front of my home. I lunch occasionally with friends and have a few internet pen pals, one in Scotland.

I live a staycation within six miles of all I need and I read the local news to be informed and know when to avoid traffic since tourists and local activities sometimes clog the roads.

I work on my positive outlook and use my outgoing manner to draw anybody that might be lively/interesting/colorful/intelligent.
Identifying with a job
by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

One of the most gratifying things about retiring and entering a more mature phase of life is that we have learned so much.

If we compare our age to what we were like at 25 or 30 , we can see that we are far more street smart, experienced, confident , competent, and more knowledgeable in many areas. We can't help realize there is much we know that helps us deal with life from a source of strength, and we can feel ready to use our childlike curiosity in new ways all over again.

Struggles taught us a lot. When you see someone struggling with something we once struggled with , we are able to reach out and help. No one seeks help from someone who hasn't gone through what they have --because we don't "get it." People may be drawn to you if you have overcome what they have suffered through and won. They will find you.
You'll see
by: Nancy

I was like you, I had plans for when I retired. I was like you also in that my identity was tied in with my work. That hasn't really changed in the 3.5 years I've been retired.

My plans were, I was going to get active in Al-Anon, find a sponsor, and work the 12 steps, which I did, but after about 9 months, I got really disillusioned with Al-Anon.

But I did find a good hobby which is quilting and it has morphed into a collecting vintage sewing machines hobby. I also joined several groups on Facebook associated with sewing and have joined some block exchanges

You will find a way too. What helped me was starting with something I already knew and enjoyed and expanding on it.
Design Your Own Retirement..!
by: Alison, Ontario, Canada

I have been retired only 3 months, at 56. I have experienced a lot of "retirement" woes...wondering what I should be doing...what would I like to do...etc..

3 months is a short time and I have had some circumstances that have kept me "busy"...helping a friend who broke his foot..babysitting my grandaughter 2x a week..in honesty...I am busier than I'd like to be. I didn't have a shower today until almost 11:30 in the morning....I was ok with it...no place to be...no responsibility today..just..well whatever I felt like doing..

Days will be different...and..how you feel will be different day by day....To me...that's ok...Change is hard sometimes...but necessary..You will find your way...maybe not right away...maybe a few years down the road..but..you will....Please Update...!!!
Retirement
by: Ned

having had out side interests other than work I found it easy to keep busy

I volunteer at our local Historical Soc joined TRIAD and belong so a couple of hobby groups and there are many places that would welcome your volunteer services your local library, hospital, schools, service clubs, finding a child to mentor is very rewarding and can develop into a life time friendship.

when I first retired I had a list of all the things I wanted to do and its taken me over 10 years to even get a few of them off the list

I would look at retirement very positively one of the best thing is there is no real hurry any more and you can really decide as to what you want or don't want to do

the best thing about it is waking up to a new day and being able to enjoy it

a way to stay connected
by: Anonymous

One of the more difficult aspects of retirement is staying connected to people. Some people are not joiners but there is many worthwhile organizations a person could volunteer their time. I have joined many and quit many.

The one connection I have found that works for me is a large Bible Study meeting weekly. I see the same people weekly and have gotten to know a few on a personal level. Through the Bible study I have been asked to do projects, so it mushrooms after a time.

Meet up groups can also provide companionship. These groups are available all over the country. I joined one in my area and went to a movie with about 12 women.

It is the continuity of doing something over and over with the same people that provides new opportunities. I hope this helps.
can relate
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

I certainly can relate to your concern, I worked as an RN for 35 years and prior to that for 10 years in banking and insurance.

So when I retired at 68, which I did not plan on as I am healthy and active and returned to school to earn my BSN and two Masters with intentions of working until I was 80 or so. But God had other plans and so I retired and the first year was rough as you say the nothingness.

I was involved daily with people and solving problems and hiring and going to functions and now nothing. Well, I flopped through the first year, thank God keeping my granddaughter 2 days a week, which was my motivation to retire so I could build a relationship with her before she went off to school, and so glad I did.

Well, the second year I began to consider my options and found that with some effort I can do and enjoy gardening, I looked into volunteer opportunities though don't think I am a volunteer type so far nothing has held my interest.

I do have a little dog and enjoy daily walks 2-3 times each day and live in a nice area to do so. I have discovered things about myself since retiring that working kept me too busy to consider. I enjoy reading, crocheting, and visiting with many of my distant friends.

Don't have any close ones here my best friend died in 2007. I have my son and DIL and granddaughter 2 miles away and that is nice. My son has been a great help this year in helping me finish a large yard project and putting in a new front door, and going to tear off the old front porch and build a new one next month.

It is different and a much slower pace than when we worked, but I have found I enjoy my retirement and that pace. I can do things as I want to, not has I have too.

I do think any unresolved issues this is a good time to deal with them, as you do need to have peace with yourself as you will find you will spend a lot more time with yourself. Just stay active doing something and enjoy all you will discover during these years, good things if you stay positive and active.

Good luck

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