Lost

by Doris

I retired at FRA after working in NYC for twenty-five years; built a new house in SC to be near my son and grandkids.

After almost two years I am ready to put house on market and move. Being two miles near my son is too close - I know more than I want to know! In a development and everyone is married.

If you are a single woman, do not retire because the world belongs to married people. I am lonely, bored, and have become a couch potato. Been through the "group" things and, again, all couples; tried the gym (boring); and all I do is drive! I guess I should have looked for a more walkable, accessible city. This is okay, but the days are long. Travel with some photography groups, but that is not something you do on a daily basis.

Hope the house sells and I just might buy a small RV and keep on driving!

Work till you drop.

Comments for Lost

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RV as older woman
by: Anonymous

Get the rv or a small van or trailer, check out KOAs which are very safe, park under a light at Walmart, Pillots or Flying J. They are safe.

I'm near 75, female, and heading off again this summer. My husband and I did a very long across North America tour from VA to the west coast and Canada in 2014 before he died at 84.

I've made many such trips solo, sometimes with a tent. No gun needed. There are many women's RV and solo travel websites on the internet. In over 50 years of such travel, I've never had any misfortune other than mechanical or weather issues.

I HATE to drive, so I take off early, stop by 2 or 3. Most RVers away from oil camp areas are families, friendly, and helpful.

If I had the money, I'd get a Roadtrek. You can stop over with friends, kids, and stop any time to see something maybe not advertised but really interesting. You can also be a work camper or seasonal worker, but that's often physical. I'm a retired professor by the way and an introvert. Go for it while you can!

not for me
by: Anonymous

Can I just add that I moved from a center city bungalow on a 50 by 100 lot to a retirement community with all the amenities (my mother died, so I moved there when I separated for a while). I did NOT enjoy it.

Neighbors WATCHED each other all the time, and I am an introvert. It was a mile to walk to anywhere, like a grocery store, and people watched you the WHOLE way. They govern what you do to your house, your music, your car, the whole life you lead.

I went back after the separation and LOVE being in my house with 2 buses one block away, double wide sidewalks everywhere, grocery store five blocks away, Kentucky friend chicken, banks, beauty shops, post office, community college, hardware store, etc. all within 6 blocks. I can stroll down the alleys with my dog for a couple of blocks and enjoy a senior coffee while watching tv at Jack in the box. I can do Anything I want in my yard (like put up a scarecrow, grow tomatoes, etc). I am never leaving. Strangers on the streets say hi and yet are not at all nosey.

I also tried San Diego, and never ever move there as you age. You will be isolated. I tried NYC for 6 weeks. Life is too hard there. And expensive too.

Find the perfect place for your personality. Do what you want. But try things out maybe rent and try it that way? Enjoy. I nix the senior community. I would NEVER move to one again.
So Sorry, but Thanks for Heads Up!
by: A Friend

Dear Doris,

I am so sorry to hear your story, but am glad to hear you are not letting it get you down and are busy planning a way to fix what's not working. I know you can do it!

My son & d-in-l and I have a plan for my moving from my home city to be with/near them when they have kids in a couple of years, but you know, everyone I tell says basically the same thing... big mistake.

Well, gosh, it sounds like a perfect plan, right? I'm alone myself and though I don't make friends easily, could help w/grandkids,I would be near my son if, as I age, I need his help, etc.

But I am listening to you and others who agree. I made the mistake of not planning realistically for retirement and am now suffering for it. Hearing your story, though unhappy, really helps.

Thanks, and best of luck.
Lost comment
by: Sally

Dear Doris,

I too am a single woman who will be retiring next year after many years of working in public schools. I know if I stay where I am, in an upstate New York suburban neighborhood of all couples and families, I will be very unhappy especially if I'm holed up for 3 or 4 months in the winter. Therefore, I'm looking into active retirement communities now.

Last February, I visited The Villages in north central Florida, a retirement community of over 100,000 people. I was amazed at how nice it was.

Everything was so pretty with all of the flowers and landscaping taken care of by their own company, paid for by a reasonable monthly HOA fee. What was most impressive was the amount of activities that are available every single day. You name it, there's an activity for it. And this place is big and nicely spread out.

Yes, there were alot of couples however I noticed in their huge activity newspaper, which comes out weekly, there were many Singles groups as well. And anyone who lives there can join any group they want.

I see it as a way to meet friends with common interests. It appears that one can be as active or as inactive as they want to be. Oh yes, there is free nightly entertainment in each of the Town Squares (3) every night of the year!

I like the idea of being around people of the same cohort so I don't feel like I'm the oldest in the room all the time! Which is what I feel every day when I go to work and see all of these young teachers in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

Anyway, just a thought for you! You can google The Villages and find all kinds of info.

All the best.

Sally
Move to the Villages. Florida
by: scott roberts

Honest, move to the Villages, Florida. It is a 120,000 adult community and you can find anything you want here, as a couple or single. We have 2500 clubs, dancing very night, entertainment galore and a superb adult ed program. Look it up on the web. C Email me with questions, srob102 at aol.com, srr
Before you buy
by: Ruth Johnson

Rent to see if the community fit what you want. Just as we try on clothes before we buy them, try the places and people before you put down roots. Try senior residences. They are filled with people like you, mature, mostly single, and looking for more before the final gong.
Retirement Adventures
by: Michigan

Doris,

Sorry to hear you are not enjoying retirement but hang in there it will get better. I agreed that if you are in a subdivision that is not a retirement community you pick the wrong place to move.

South Caroline has some wonderful retirement communities and I have several friends, married and single, who moved down there because of the milder climate and they just love it.

Since you like to drive I suggest you check the retirement communities out near you. You may just be surprised and sinse you had a house built you must have a pretty good income so you'll fit right in to the nice ones with all the amenities.

So write down what you would like to have within walking distance like a club house, exercise rooms, swimming pools, tennis courts,or golfing and then do a search online.

One friend who is single and retired 3 years ago did that and she brought a beautiful 2 bedroom house. She loves her community but has decided to sell the house and buying a condo they have both. When I asked her why she said she doesn't like cleaning the house ha,ha!

My point is although RV traveling is fun it can be a hard way to live and really cramped. I think what you really need to do to stop being a couch potato is to move to a friendly senior environment. Oh and by the way if you look up statics you will find more single woman in your age bracket than men ~ so retirement is not for just married couples.

Good luck and I hope you find happiness in being healthy and having a good income to support your retirement.

Your friend

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