Not aging well!

by Ron
(Florida)

Retired @ age 65 on Jan 1st 2006. Married 48 years, 3 kids. Moved to Florida @ age 60 & became an employee after 40+ years of being an employer. Not a comfortable transition.

Did a stint in the Air Force & Air National Guard, 1963 > 1969. Had a good life with $$, boats, sport cars, motorcycles, motorhomes.

Left the rat race in 2009 & moved to a remote area of Central Florida, loved this life. Made a mark in the Community by Volunteering to help local Veterans as a leader of other Vets.

2011, oldest Daughter in South Fla. Divorced, bankrupt, 4 y/o Son, then she was diag. w/breast cancer, in 2011 advanced to stage IV. Pulled up stakes & moved back to the Rat Race (S/Fla). The move & her ugly divorce cost my Wife & me about 85% of our retirement savings. Back to a mortgage & an old car.

Living day to day, trying to find some joy, watching my Daughter getting worse & her ex bugs her daily. Our world now consists of caring for my Daughter (lives with us), & 3 1/2 days caring for my 6 y/o Grandson. Wife & I are very depressed & just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Comments for Not aging well!

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Not Aging Well
by: Anonymous

Hi, I was saddened to hear of your total life change dear. I wish I could fix it all, but of course I cannot. That has nothing to do with aging.

That is LIFE throwing you hard curve balls, God is in there somewhere I hope you know.

Your grandchildren and daughter are very lucky to have someone to help them out. This might be the only good thing you can see in this right now. Again I have no magic words,just hope.

Folks you don't even know are thinking positive thoughts for you and some ,like me, are even praying. Keep us posted. Bless you all.
Not aging well
by: Denny

I can't imagine how difficult it would be to watch my daughter lose her health right in front of my eyes. The feeling of helplessness must be overwhelming.

I can hear that you are doing your very best to make her as comfortable as she can be given the circumstances including looking after her child. You are performing a great service and I totally admire you for that.

Bad things happen in everyone's life for reasons that seem illogical and unfair. I know from personal experience of having lost a son when he was only 25 years of age, two sisters to the ravages of drugs before they reached 40 years old, that the frustration and pains of these big losses pass with time. It is so painful and unfair when you're in the middle of it all but as someone said in an earlier post, "keep your chin up."

I would also add to that just do the best you can and share your feelings with others. It always helps to know you are not in this alone.

Love is everything and you are shining example of that for your daughter. I love you guys.

Thanks all!
by: Anonymous

Thank you all for responding & sharing your thoughts. One day at a time never seemed so real.
Your are the first person I wanted to respond to
by: Leah

You know life isn't about the $$ boat,car, house etc. It's about family and love and giving back.
Your daughter really, really needs you strong now.
Your grandchild needs a diversion from the stress he feels. Children think those things are their fault - the environment is difficult to explain to them.

So what can you do about this, what control, if any, do you have? You have control over your attitude, budget and were to go for support.

Call up the local hospital and ask to talk to the social worker, who can plug you into a support system. Get your daughter to one. Buy a pet for your grandchild so they have something else to focus on,except gloom and doom.

Get out of the house and start doing small trips,
not to the hospital, but to the library, local events. Check the senior center by your house.

Exercise!!

TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME...
let me know how your are doing I care...

Leah
Hope
by: Anonymous

Hello.... I'm sorry this devastation has struck you at a time when life could get more comfortable. Nothing can make good sense out of suffering and pain. What struck me is how you've been there for your family and are making such a dif. In grandsons life. I believe the kindness of God transforms the worst of times if only we can believe it. Sending a big hug.
Aging Is All In Our Heads
by: Retired Traveller

I had breast cancer when I was 70 - it wasn't stage four, but I did opt for a mastectomy. Ever since, I have been looking over my shoulder.

If we all live long enough we are going to have our share of grief, depression, losses.

It sounds trite, but life can only be handled one day at a time and you have to deal with that day and what it presents, as accepting as possible.

When you have a large population (in the U.S.) it is called random sampling when bad things happen to this one or that one - I don't think anyone deserves the unfortunate things that happen to them and their families.

All we are left to do is choose how to handle it, without losing it completely. Faith, friends, prayer, connecting in your community, having the best attitude you can have - pray that things will turn around for you.

God bless you - each and every day!
unfortunately heart
by: Sharyn~~~Waterloo

chin up, take it 1 day at a time! awesome what we do for our children & grandchildren! situation will get better!

my heart goes out to u & your family*

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