Retired: Alone in a crowded room

As a carpenter of over 40 years one poor choice cost me my job.


I got enough work to reach early retirement age and got out when I could. Since my pension and banking income would now be half of what I previously earned I scrambled to earn what I could in a small side business.

We were ok for a year and even enjoyed a nice vacation. After reviewing my books and preparing taxes, I realized things could get tight and my mind came under the burden of providing adequately for my family.

It got to the point that I would wake in the morning with darkness and depression hanging like a cloud over me before I even entertained the first thoughts of the day.

I prayed a lot and counseled with good friends and my pastor. I got sadder and angrier and began to see my family relationships deteriorate. Friends stayed at my side and pushed me to get help.

Believe it or not I found this website and read most of the postings and began to feel relief. Seeing so many in the same position as myself I somehow felt better. I am not alone.

I also see so many different situations and answers that I have hope of recovery. I will continue to watch this space. When we suffer alone there is no hope. When we suffer together we feed off one another and find common strength.

I have decided to move forward and continue in my small carpentry business and be a responsible man, doing what I know is best.

I am continuing to pray for peace in my mind and I know that one great way to achieve this is to be there for others. My motto... Never Give Up


Wendy: This post says it all! I am so happy that my website provided even a hint of relief for you. Yes, Life goes on...

You sound like you have common sense, and a sense of direction for your retired life. Your small business will be just what you need it to be -- as small or as busy as you hope for.

I bet your friends will be thrilled to see that smile again... and will help you find new project to work on.

Mostly, just wanted to say that I am so humbled when I read words like yours. That is why I am the workaholic retiree that I am! Oh yeah!

Thank you... You made my day, week, Year!!

Comments for Retired: Alone in a crowded room

Click here to add your own comments

retired thrice
by: Willyjon

Hi all out there. This is a new step for me - looking for someone to be a penpal (female).

I've retired three times- once from the forces, once from my full time job as a carer of persons with learning difficulty ( a job I loved) and one (at 72) from a night shelf filler in a national supermarket, only retired from this one after my late wife got real ill and needed me. Now my darling is resting with the angels - I lost her three years ago and am now feeling quite lonely at times.

I have four wonderful grandchildren , 10, 13, 17 and 22 yrs and see them reasonably regular but they have their loves to lead with their peers so I do get very lonely at times but not morbidly so.

Thanks to my national bus pass, a rail pass and a good location I am able to get out every day but so far I find it hard to meet people face to face, never know what to say without seeming forward and after a long marriage its hard to know what to talk about.

Hello folks. am i getting through on here???
by: brenda.

Hello i wrote looking for friends and a partner if that is possible, and I am just wondering if I have done this properly, I just hope people will come accross my message, and I also left my e,mail. Hope you are all happy and well. Brendax

Wendy Brenda, I cannot post "ads" any more and delete any email addresses that I find in a post. There are too many scammers out there - just looking for seniors to pull something on. I am sorry...

for anonymous brenda
by: apilgrim2

. . . whereas, in the bon-fires of youth, many reached out in love, and reached forward with courage to risk the reaching, perchance to find another reaching, to begin the building of relationships that may be tested and strong, or found weak and wanting; many raised families, extensions of selves that reached forward into the future with the strength of youthful and steady arms, confidently grasping life's challenges as they come by, and with them receiving the rewards of the love that is borne of the courage to love.

. . . and whereas others were trapped in arrested development, afraid to manifest the courage to reach out in the weakness borne of doubt, in the dread of finding empty air, doubting his worthiness of that which only a human hand extended in love can offer.

And finally as time slips by a courage borne of faith finds a way. Is there an encouraged hand, though now with fingers stiff and wrinkled, yet acutely feeling, reaching across a fading campfire, in youthful anticipation of the hand reaching back, perhaps . . . at last?

so used to this.
by: Anonymousbrenda

I wish I could meet nice people to go out with, have a coffee and in the summer to meet up and feel I am living again. I am rather shy, and because of this I tend to talk too much, but I love laughter, I want to go swimming with someone else, as I don't do much on my own, don't like to.

My family whom I adored sister and Brother and a few very good friends who I loved vry much, just died off, and since then I have chewed my nails down to nothing, and cry alone for the people I have lost. I dont trust now. and wish I could and would. I would love god friends, and a partner also.

Oh I just go on wishing,Thank you all.

so happy for you
by: Brenda

I would love to be your friend, and so happy you are now content and happy, yes this site is great, like you I have been very lonely and having no family, I was thinking of all silly things to do, I did not think, I was part of this universe, and then got in touch with Wendy, and have tried to make friends on here.

I would love to meet a partner in London if possible, to go out with for a cuppa and walks and in the summer go on the boats, Is there someone out there who would like to be my friend. Thank you. Brenda. brendac288 ay googlemail,com English Irish or nice people living locally.

Bye Brendaxx

me too
by: ronaldj

Retired carpenter, well welcome to my world… took my retirement two years ago when work was ….oh there wasn’t any… had enough in my pension to make almost ¾ of what I had been making. Take away the cost of gas and the 100 to 150 miles every day to work and I was even… or so I thought.

Two years later pension mixed with a little work here and there …lots of things to do for free for others and just plan good life …I am loving every minute of life… grandchild twelve was born yesterday and I spent the last and next few days working with son on roof. He also is a carpenter, as is my son in law (one of them).

Will my money last my life I sure hope so... will my life last my happiness… plan to make it so. Down size and declutter if need be but with a little effort and working with spouse, you will learn to love it. I have and also I turned 60 last month…..


Give GOD the Glory !
by: Sarah

I am happy that you're in a better state of mind. Things happen in our lives that we have no control over. Just continue to give Praises, to God for all things great and beautiful in our lives. I wish the best for you and family.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anxiety and Depression.