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Retired and Lonely Wanderer

by Sharyn
(CANADA)

Most days l am good, some days l am not so good!


l am 65 & still having a tug of war with myself* I wanted a car, not a new car, just something to get around in, so l went out and got a job, and then l bought a car, nice car, then the job didn't work out and l was stuck paying for the car, so l got another job!

That didn't work out either. l live on a budget (strict) and sat down and tried to figure out what to do next cause l wanted this car.

l replied to an ad in the paper, a mother was needing someone to look after her 2 young children after school 4 days a week- 10 hours- or 40 hours a month at $ per hour. l like children, l can do this, l had the interview and was hired. Been doing this for 3 months, wknds off, holidays off, snow days off, summertime off, no nights, evenings, great job. Kids like me and l like them! Mother likes me too*

I bowl on a team 1 time a week, great fun, l volunteer once a week for 2 hours, enjoy that* Take my friend shopping, she doesn't have a car and sometimes we go for lunch or an early dinner.

My daughter & her family live only a 10 min. walk from me, however, she doesn't care for me very much! My son lives in another city, works, and is raising his 2 teen-age sons alone. We get along fine, text, & email often.

The friends l thought were friends while working, before l retired, are friends no more, we all live in different cities or towns and just never seem to have the time or care enough to get together anymore!

My problem is l am lonely, alone, and still feel so isolated, no one close enough to talk with or be comfortable with~~ Why am l 65 and feel this way, often, l wonder why am l alone, l am intelligent, still attractive, sense of humor, fun, enjoy a glass of wine now & then with dinner.

So, like the article name, l wander around day to day WANDERING & wondering when am l going to get my next fix of excitement?

Wendy: Where there is a will, there is a way!

Love-love that you wanted your car, and you found a way to keep it! You didn't give up, which many would have, after several missteps, just tried one more avenue and it worked. KUDOS to you!

Have to agree about work friends, they SEEM so real when you work, but often there is little in common after you leave work. It is what it is...

Sharyn, JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! Click on the two faces in the right column and register. There are almost 500 retirees there, chatting daily... its fun!

Comments for Retired and Lonely Wanderer

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Retirement to loneliness
by: Anonymous

It's awful feelin to be lonely and spending time sleepy, even capable of walking, away until God decides to do with you. Don't like it.

EMPATHY
by: GOLDIE

SHARYN,

I feel much empathy for your situation, but remember...you are not alone.

Life is a journey and every moment is to teach us something new about ourselves, the world and the people around us.

Wendy has given us this wonderful website - ENJOY!

Develop Hobbies
by: Anonymous

I suggest that when you are in job we must develop hobbies, the hobby will not keep us lonely.

Writing about villages, town and cities visited even daily diary so one can read when retired and continue to write, possibly some publisher may publish it.

Drawing, making sketches, not necessary to be artist, but to remember and make sketches.
Knitting will you keep busy.

Computer pen pal will make friends.
Om

Connect to the Internet, Connect to the World.
by: Retd. Prof. Mr. Durgesh Kumar Srivastava, C-3, Janakpuri, New Delhi-110058, India.

Dear Ms Sharyn,

Namaste and Greetings from India.

A hundred years ago, people did not have the problem of feeling lonely. They had family, neighbors, friends and jobs nearer home. Today, the family is spread out in thousands of square miles. Neighbors and friends move away to distant cities to take up jobs or run businesses. Relatives coming from other cities are a burden in our small apartments. Our busy lives make telephone contacts irksome.

Necessity is the mother of invention. The problem of loneliness has created the solution of social networking. You join facebook, twitter, other social networking sites like Wendy's Retirement-Online. Come here to find friends. Go to facebook.com and type the first few letters of any name you know WENDY, DURGESHKUMAR or any other name and you will get connectivity instantly.

The people you connect with will have time for you. Loneliness will go away. Some months ago, I felt sort of depressed. WENDY was one of the first to write to me. I felt strengthened. Do write to me at kumar220243@yahoo.in. Select any recent date of your choice and tell me what you did on that day. There may be something of mutual interest and you can correspond thru Internet.

If you have a computer at home and know how to use it, the problem will go away instantly. If you do not have a computer or do not know how to use it go to an Internet Cafe and they will train you. May be you will make a new friend there.

Best wishes. DKS,5 Mar 13 .

Ditto
by: Linda

Hi Sharyn,

Ditto .... I feel like you do most days .... Lonely ....

Like Wendy said, I guess it is what it is, about work friends no longer being a friend after you retire ... Seems everyone is so involved with their own life, it leaves very little time left over for real friendship.

I retired years ago from banking. Then took care of my Mother, in our home for a number of years, during her chemo & radiation for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. After she passed away, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do to keep busy, when my husband decided to take early retirement.

We bought an RV & traveled around the US for 2 years. That was an amazing time or both us.

Now, sadly, my husband is in his 4th year of Alzheimer's, & it's progressing quickly. I guess everything happens for a reason .... Only God knows ...... But, like you, I wonder what the rest of my life will be like .....

Take good care of yourself .... I'd love to have a pen pal from Canada, if you care to correspond.

Sincerely, Linda
West Palm Beach, Fl

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