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Retired - It's not all what it's made out to be...

by leopeter
(canada)

Retirement!

I waited my whole life to get to this point, I dreamed about it, I visualized the great times to be retired, I would truly enjoy my time and space without work.

You know what, It's hell.

Yes, that's right, it's not all a bed of roses.

I feel depressed, lonely, anxious every day and not to mention constantly thinking negative thoughts throughout the days. This is horrible.

At the age of 56, you would think it would be o.k., NO! No!, not true.

If anyone that is going through an uneasy retirement please say something on line.

Words of encouragement would help!

Wendy here: Hello! I just retired on Friday and I pray I don't fall into whatever has taken you down. Right now, I'm happy -- but it's too soon to tell.

I do have a Retirement Transition Group, emails from folks who akso have anxiety on retirement... some are recently retired, some aren't yet retired, all thinking about their options. Look under Email Groups to the left - or contact me at the bottom left.... and I will get you into the group. I think we can help you evaluate the blessings you do have!




Comments for
Retired - It's not all what it's made out to be...

Click here to add your own comments

Mistake
by: Jane

Jane, your story was moved... instead publishing it under comments, I added it as a page so retirees can comment back to you!

Please contact me (bottom left column under "contact me" so I can show you where it is...

thanks! Wendy

I do have same symptoms
by: Anonymous

I retired last week at age 56. To be with husband at different state. I am getting through all symptoms mentioned above, anxious, depressed, lazy, worthless, outsider..... just finished school for master's but what for? I am looking for a job consistently..... CA

Wendy If you have a master's degree -- why not share your knowledge on a website? I love working on mine, answering questions, sharing my two cents... and the income is nice too!

Then when you do have a job, your supplemental income will come from the site, work it part time, and do the job full time... it's a win win!

I Should Be In Heaven Retired!!!
by: Debbie

I have been retired for one year now, after 37.5 years as a secretary.

At the beginning I was flying high, happy, yet seemed to want to get everything DONE, tasks, projects, etc. and be the perfectionist that I am.

Now I feel exhausted, kind of down, still thinking these "things" around the house/yard need to be done 'yesterday'.

I feel guilty just laying around relaxing, reading a book too much, type of thing. What is going on? I do NOT feel like going out working, and usually love to be by myself.

My husband is still working for four more years. We do RV'ing, have a condo in Florida to go to (if gas prices allow now and then!!) and really feel like I am just being a spoiled brat, unless I am clinically depressed or something, but hey, I'm on meds for that!!!

Any ideas? Thank you....

Wendy I am so blessed that after 36 years of employment and one year retired (very similar to you) -- I am happy, content, and fulfilled. I'm fortunate as I have my website to work on daily! Keeps my mind busy, keeps me happy, and provides an income too!

I'm doing a tele-class right now with the author of the Too Young To Retire book.. it's fantastic! I honestly think the majority of Boomers just won't retire like our folks did. We don't do rocking chairs very well! That doesn't mean to go out and start working again -- it does mean, THINK about your options.

Join an out-to-lunch bunch, find a reading club at the library to meet new ladies, start an art class, volunteer locally (library, hospital, somewhere fun), or work part-time, start your own small business (even something from home like I did).

So many options, you simply need to think about them.

p.s. I'm going to do workshops on this soon. I hope to help new retirees find themselves in retirement... use our talents in ways we never even considered.

update on retirement
by: Linda

Greetings to all,

It is March 31st and life is still good. I started substituting in January. I only go in 3 to 4 times a month to stay in contact and get my "teacher" fix. The extra money has also been helpful.

My mother-in-law went through a bad spell and had surgery. She is now in assisted living. I am glad that my husband and I are retired as numerous additional needs had to be met and we had the time to meet them.

Budgeting is always a challenge with rising costs of food, health insurance and gas.

More trips with Dad are on the calendar. He will be 83 in December. I wouldn't change a thing about my retirement. The memories we have made this last year are priceless. Time is something that we cannot buy and is quite precious.

Retirement rocks!

Wendy: Linda -- my retirement is quite the same. Retirement rocks for me too! I have plenty of time with my folks, have lunch out with friends, work on my website when *I* want to... Life is good!

Depressed Retiree, Job Outsourced...
by: Anonymous

My job out-sourced and I had to retire early at 57 years of age, just to have a little money coming in.

I am severely depressed and have had bad thoughts about is life worth really living.

I pray and go to church, but have not talked to anyone about my feelings. I love my husband an son, but I can't find what I need to do with myself. I have tried keeping busy, but eventually I have to stop for the day and that is when the depression sets in.

I can't sleep or eat. Please pray for me.

Wendy: Dear Anonymous,

Please consider the Retirement Transition group on the Email friendships page.... we are just like you, a bunch of newer retirees just not quite happy with new retired life. BUT -- finding out its not just us, others feel the same way, and being able to talk it out (via email) seems to be doing good for other members!

Many prayers sent your way!

Retirement is HELL!
by: Barbara

I, too, have done more damage to my physical body by retiring from education this year than I have done over the past 20 years. I now suffer from major depression and have hives. I take more medicine than I have ever taken. I would love to have my "old miserable job" back again.

Retirement is not what you think. So many people say they love it, but I wonder if they are just too ashamed to admit they made a mistake. I am sure it it great for many people, but I am not rich and have no one to travel with me. I need a job!

Just retired
by: Linda

Greetings,

It has always been a lifelong goal to retire early. I am 57 and have worked for over 32 years. This is my first year of retirement. So far it has been good.

I made my decision to retire early when I lost my mom in February and decided to spend quality time with my dad who is in good health.

Dad and I took our first trip this summer and it was great! 25 days of sharing and visiting family. More trips are planned. Next one in September.

Currently my husband and I have home projects to complete, so there are positive changes in our lives. My church and work location want me to volunteer, but I have told them I am not ready to commit at this time. I figure maybe in January I will be ready to donate time. It is hard to say NO.

I know many questions will arise that I many need to seek advice concerning my retirement so it is wonderful to find a place online where I can do so.

I will look forward to reading more stories and comments from this site.


Wendy: Thank you for writing about ENJOYING Retirement! yeah! So many have negative experiences and they do write about it (and its good to share that) - but I LOVE that someone who had a GREAT experience also took the time to share so that we all remember it's not all bad...
We just need to get past this transition of "who am I?" into our new Retirement Lives!

Thanks Linda!

Retirement: No point to the word "retire"...
by: joy

Five years ago we decided to retire from the city to a rural community.

Bad idea.

After two years, we went back to work and now our house is up for sale. We will go back to the city.

It is boring to get up in the morning with nothing to do. Why get out of bed?

I have spoken with many retirees and all say the same thing. So, for you i would suggest you move to a fair size city, get a job, make new friends and never say you are retired.

Wendy's Two Cents: I agree... you can't retire to "nothing to do". It doesn't work out, humans aren't happy without other people, things to do... we need to keep busy.

Having said that, I am perfectly happy "retired". I don't work out of the house... but I do keep busy working this website. I love my e-business!

Retirement: An ongoing adjustment
by: Joan

I've now been retired almost 2 years and I'm still adjusting.

I went to retirement transition meetings at work before I left and tried to think of it as 'retiring to something', but I complicated the matter by moving 1000 miles away to our vacation home where I have lost all social contacts, and easy access to consulting jobs in my former industry.

Being near family is not enough. I have been substitute teaching for something to do, where it allows flexibility to travel when we want, but Mr. only plays golf once maybe twice a week, and spends the rest of the time clicking thru the myriad of satellite channels - YIKES - that would make me crazy.

You don't just make new friends instantly or find new opportunities. Thank heavens for email, facebook and the internet in general.

Wendy: If you are interested, I have a Retirement Transition group.. they chit chat daily, via email, and simply help each other through this new phase of life!

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