Retirement Mistake: Second Retirement Home

by Jane
(Canada)

I am on my 2nd year of retirement. I also moved to my summer place and spend winters in a small village in Mexico. It was great when I came for 3 week Holiday, but 6 months a year, I really miss my son, his wife and my new Grand Daughter.


Told my son I think I made a mistake, that I miss them. He has told me I worked hard all my life and deserve this time. I have been a single Mom for 36 years, now my son is 37.

I keep telling myself now think if you lived near them would you be seeing them more then what you do when you in Ontario. The answer is no, because i feel they need their life's with out me.

I am not good at meeting people, and find most who have retired are old even if they are younger then myself. I plan to keep trying and hope that it is better over time.I worked 32 years with Blind and Deaf children, Trying to replace the rewards that, that brought is very hard.


Wendy: Jane, Noboby but you will know if Mexico is right for you... but don't do it simply for family. You are probably right -- they are young folks with busy lives. Quite often, new retirees think the family will be read for their help and share more time with them -- when reality is that they enjoy your time, but also live very busy lives.

I'm not a very social person and find it hard to meet people like you. I just met many from my church simply by volunteering for a project... maybe you can do the same.

Look for volunteer work in the same area that you previously worked in -- but be sure to limit your hours! You'll meet new folks, new friends, and start to develop your new life.

Find a church, library, community art groups -- whatever appeals to you. Yes, its not easy to walk in as a new person... perhaps you can call ahead and tell them you are a little nervous. Someone might help you get involved more easily!

Just do it -- the worst that happens? You stay at home, alone, feeling lousy!

The Best that Happens? You find oodles of new friends, with your same interests, and a few really great friends -- and spend half year with friends and family in Canada -- and half year in Mexico with friends!!

Best Wishes!!

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Been there, done that
by: Linda in Mo

My son insisted I spend the summer in my 5th wheel trailer, & help them. I told him it will not work. I have a hateful Daughter-in-law for 26 years, but he wouldn't quit so that I did -- I helped him in the barn as he is a cutting horse trainer & mowed worked 15-16 hr. days outside thinking I was being helpful.

After the first week, she quite speaking I wasn't allowed in there house. I wasn't in there much anyway, only allowed the kids to come to see me if she was in the mood and rarely was. My son couldn't come to see me as she was calling & needed him.

I stayed 2 1/2 months, couldn't take her any longer & she had my son tell me to leave -- never knew what I did, he says nothing she is just like that.

Hadn't seen my son & grands for 1 1/2 years, they came for 5 hrs C. her parents live 10 miles from me & her Mother schedules every minute they are her & I have always just been allowed 5 hrs. on C. day.

Got myself sick again over it, but it is over, & they don't want us in there life I came to the hurtful realization.

So I do my own thing & feel happy in my skin.

Linda in mo.


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