Disability: Having a hard time with acceptance
I am on disability and have had a difficult time with adjusting. I suffered a massive breakdown at work and went on disability. It took me awhile to get to a functional level where I became able to deal with my illnesses and make some progress.
I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, major depressive disorder and bipolar, which all were factors in my breakdown. I also struggle with hypothyroidism and while I am on medication, my thyroid levels have fluctuated wildly in the past two years, causing more difficulties.
I manage by pacing, medication and counselling. I have days where things are very bad and others where I am functional at home and can also go out.
My symptoms are unpredictable in intensity and duration. I feel like I have lots to do and can actually be content but I am having much difficulty in accepting that I am on disability and having to deal with these conditions.
This has brought about a sense of purposelessness. I feel useless because I am not working and everything I do seems useless. I think I feel that I am not entitled to feel content on disability. I so want to make peace with my situation.