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Memories: A quiet evening

by Jane Curtis aka Winston Baxter
(Mabank, Texas, USA)

A quiet evening at home.


After visiting with friends that lived across the street I decided to go home for a quiet evening alone.

My drive way was covered with acorns that had fallen from the trees that surround my little house on the lake. I made it through all the marbles on my drive, up my steps, and across the porch just fine, no problems. I came through the front door and faced instant chaos.

The pups were all over my feet, Winston was tugging at one arm while Brandy tugged at the other. Ashley, the cat, laid on the pillow on the sofa, looked up, meowed as if to say, "Oh, its just you."

Thank God I had not been drinking.

With my dog's help, I made a very drunken style walk across the living room floor only to land in the kitchen, in the water pan that had been moved. The house was really in good shape, after leaving them inside while I was gone. But, the booby traps did not end with the moving of the water pan.

I sat down the sack in my hand on the kitchen table and headed for the bathroom. I was looking down, trying to untangle my feet from Boomer and headed straight into the kitchen chair that had been moved into the bathroom, on its side, on the floor. The dogs were so thrilled that once again I was joining them on the floor. I carried the chair back into the kitchen.

I mopped up the water that had spilled from the moved water pan. I then put away the mop. I made myself a large glass of ice coffee and headed for the sofa. I could not find the remote. I looked everywhere. I finally found it behind the big green chair. I have no idea how it got there. The batteries where much easier to spot, they were in the bottom of the water pan. I found dry batteries, put the remote back together, and once again proceeded towards the sofa.

I set my glass down on the little table, clicked the TV on and started to sit down. I landed right on top of the pile of knuckle bones that Brandy had gathered and put Ashley in charge of guarding. I was trying to persuade Ashley to surrender "the pillow" by letting her know I had brought home fresh cat food.

While I was up moving the bones, I shook the sack, opened it, and took a handful of the little morsels and placed them in her bowl, on the table. She looked at me and said, "No, Thanks; I ate just before you came in-- I'll check it out in a little while." I replied, Ashley, MOVE!

She yawned, stretched her body across the entire pillow and closed her eyes. Not wanting to be the loser in this argument, I physically lifted her body and took it to the table. I went back, claimed my pillow, and clicked on the channel I wanted to watch. I should have watched her instead. She had proceeded to dangle her paws over the edge of the table and make little meow sounds. I did not pay any attention because she is always talking about something. I was sure she was just giving me another argument about the pillow, complaining about the food, or something else I did not care about.

She got Winston so excited, he jumped on the table. Cat food went every where. The pups are now frantic trying to gobble up as much as they can. I yell, jump up and run to the kitchen to catch the table before it falls sideways as Winston is jumping off. I get everything cleaned up. I looked for Ashley to make sure she is was all right.

I found her, she is back on the pillow stretched out playing possum.

I grabbed the pillow, went to the other end of the sofa, changed the channel on the TV and drank about half my coffee down. Ashely just kept sleeping---- right.

I noticed that during the confusion that the two pups had stolen one bone each from Brandy's pile. I was settling in to watch TV when Brandy decided to recollect his bones. Since the other dogs were eagerly working on one each it was interesting to see how he was going to handle it. He all of a sudden started barking and ran to the back door. They all three rushed out the doggy door, into the night. He quietly walked back to the bones and moved them back to the sofa with the others.

My evening, I thought was finally going to quiet down.

The three dogs came bursting into the house. They were invigorated from the cold and ready to rumble. They rumbled right into my little table. My half glass of ice coffee simple slipped to its side while depositing its contents across my lap. I yelled and jumped up at the same time.

The pups were so startled, they instantly ran between my legs and once again we all got to celebrate me getting on the floor with them. I braced myself on the sofa to pull myself back up.

Winston decided since I was busy, it was a good time to check out the "sleeping cat". He jumped in the middle of Ashley, she jumped on my head, and we all once again sat in the floor.

By that time the pups were the only ones thrilled about the idea. I had not been able to do the splits since drill team. I do not recommend it to those who have been declared "disabled".

I had one sip of water left on the other little table. I used it to take two pain pills and two potassium tablets. I realized I had pulled a ham string and my leg was really going into a bad cramp.

While I was cleaning up, Boomer opened the back door again and Ashley went out. I tried to stretch out on the sofa, but the ham string hurt too bad. So, I decided to sit up for a while and watch TV. I had recorded a wonderful little Christmas movie earlier. Everyone got quiet and we started to watch the movie.

My friend, Travis, knocked on the front door. Once again chaos ensued. He had seen a lot of commotion and heard me yell when he was out letting his dog do his business. He came by to see if I was all right.

I tried to click off the TV quickly so we could talk for a minute and I hit the wrong button. I had gotten a second of Animal Planet before the TV went blank. Bridget loves Animal Planet and starts barking the minute she hears it. The rest of the group instantly join her and they sit as a gang stalking prey in front of the TV. If I turn it off before a commercial comes on, the barking starts all over again.

Travis left. The dogs are watching Animal Planet, Ashley is out for the evening, and I'm in here, now having a quiet evening.

I should have believed my fortune cookie at the restaurant. It said, "Chaos is easy to overcome if you keep your sense of humor." You think if I laugh myself to sleep it would help?

How was your evening? I'll let you go. Thanks for listening.

Comments for Memories: A quiet evening

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THE LULL ' AFTER' THE STORM ....
by: (Mr.) Durgesh Kumar Srivastava JiBhaiya@gmail.com New Delhi India

Esteemed Ms Jane,

Namaste and Greetings from India ! We, in India, are approaching the festive season of Diwali. It is a festival of lights celebrated by Hindus in honour of the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity - Lakshmi and the God of Auspicious Beginnings - Ganesha. Houses and business premises are cleaned, decorated with buntings and flowers and illuminated with lamps.

Among other highlights of the Diwali festival is the bursting of fire crackers mostly by children. This starts early in the evening and goes on till midnight. The loud cacophony of sounds in and around the house makes any conversation difficult and sleeping impossible. When midnight comes and the children have exhausted their stocks of fire crackers and energy, peace descends upon the house and the neighbourhood and I go to sleep. This happens year after year at Diwali time.

It seems that you have "Diwali atmosphere" in your house all the year round with an assortment of loved and lovely pet dogs and Ashley, your spoilt-child like cat.

I enjoyed reading your post on retirement-online.com. Your sense of humour matches your love for your cat and dogs. You must thank God Almighty that you did not get any injuries during the free-for-all commotion caused in your house by your four-legged friends.

You really deserved the break that you got after everything had become quiet and settled to enable you to watch your favourite TV programme. Your experience was comparable to the loud Diwali experience that I get just once in an year. You may be having such experience on a daily basis in your life. You deserve all praise for your patience and tolerance.

I look forward to more such hilarious posts from you on retirement-online.com. But please be careful about your physical safety and mental balance.

With best wishes, - Prof.D.K.Srivastava, New Delhi, India, 26th Oct.,2010 =

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