WE MUST STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY
by Thomas A. Damron
LOOK AROUND AND YOU"LL FIND THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
Together, we seniors must act to stop this conspiracy against us immediately!
Have you noticed that builders are making stairs much steeper, and that the elevators pack all those old heavy people in like sardines?
The stores are buying heavier groceries, putting them in much larger bags, and everything is placed much farther away than it was a few years ago.
Only yesterday I walked to the corner and was thunderstruck to discover how much longer the city had made my street without notifying me.
And, you know, people are far less considerate now, especially those younger ones. They ask questions in whispers all the time! When you ask them to speak up they just keep whispering as they mouth the exact same silent message until they're blue in the face! They obviously think I am a lip reader, which I'm not.
When dealing with one of them, have you detected that they're much younger than we were at that age .But on the other hand; all those of my own age are so much older than me. I met an old friend while shopping and was surprised at how much he has aged and that he didn't even recognize me when I said Hello.
After I woke this morning, I began thinking about the poor friend while I was squeezing Fixodent on my teeth, and in doing so, I glanced up at my own reflection. I was stunned-- even the mirrors aren't reflective the way they used to be!
What really gets to me is that everyone speeds anymore! If you happen to pull onto the street in front of them you're risking your life and all your limbs. I'll bet the brake service companies love it because their brakes must wear out in such a short time the way they growl and swerve all over the street.
My biggest gripe is that the clothing manufacturers are less refined these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling size 34 or 36 waists as 40 or 42? Do they really think that I'm not on to their tricks?
Manufacturers of bathroom scales are pulling a prank on us with the same trick. Why would they think I would actually believe the elevated numbers I see on the dial? Everyone knows that I would never let myself weigh that much! Just because we're seniors, they think they're fooling us, right? But we know better.
I'd call someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the phone books are printed the in such tiny type that no one could ever find a number and I couldn't find my magnifier!
I'm doing my duty to you seniors by passing you this Public Service warning: WE SENIORS ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, more and more of us will undergo these appalling indignities.We Must Stop This Immediately
INFORM EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I'm sending it in a larger font size because the eyeglass people are in on the conspiracy and messed with my trifocals so I assumed you might have the same problem.