Week Four of my 100-Day Project

by Jeanne Savelle
(Atlanta, GA, USA)

Cloudland Canyon, North Georgia

22. A good friend is turning 50 this week and is experiencing a bit of angst about this moment in his life. What is to come? Is this all there is? What do I do next? These transitions cause trepidation for most of us. We worry, we’re afraid, we get paralyzed, we second guess ourselves, we judge. What if we just let ourselves be? Stop thinking about what we should do? And instead, just got up every morning and lived? We put so much pressure on ourselves by thinking of all the things. If we could just set aside those thoughts for a moment, let them pass overhead, we might discover that we know the answer and it isn’t hard.

23. We are made of stardust, literally. We are stardust, we are golden. All of us. I love this idea. It’s so beautiful and expansive. It lights me up inside. A glittery golden feeling. Connected. How amazing is that? If we could feel this all the time (we can,) how different would life be? I want to remember this every day. To wake up and look in the mirror and say to myself: good morning, stardust! And to look at every person I meet and think: they are stardust too. It’s quite an incredible idea. It’s the idea of the “pure joy of existence.” What a marvelous feeling to have – “like champagne bubbles of well-being.”

24. I’m thinking about preparation today. Preparing for our last workshop session in 30 minutes. We have prepared and practiced so I am not concerned about it. But I am wondering what would happen if I don’t review the materials right now before the event but instead just sat quietly to slow down my mind, creating a feeling of being calm. Michael Neill talks about tapping into our creative potential by not making ourselves do something, but by allowing something to unfold. What will unfold in this presentation if I stop trying to control it, trying to control what happens? This will be an experiment thaked t I hope to try again next week when I have another presentation to a different group of people. I have prepared for that one too, but I want to let it flow more organically. Should be a fun experiment.

25. So, I had an interesting email exchange with my tax providers. I had a call previously that went only 10-minutes, so I wanted to reschedule the remaining 50 minutes for another time. The person who emailed my back took this as a personal affront and said they’d be happy to charge me $250 for the next call. I felt kind of gut punched, I could feel my stomach clench and tense. Such an interesting reaction to an email. I took her response negatively and my body reacted. I am sure she had a physical reaction too. It was all overblown and just a misunderstanding. We’ll get it worked out but it sure was curious. (P.S. She apologized for the misunderstanding. It all worked out.)

26. Thinking about my impossible project and coincidence. I don’t really notice coincidence in my life. I am not attuned to it. But when I think about the possibility of coincidence, I feel a fluttering of excitement in my body. The potential of intersecting with coincidence, with synchronicity is intriguing. What would it look like? Where will it come from? What will I see through it? How will it help? And can I stay open to it long enough for it to fully manifest? What a thrilling idea!

27. So I am behind in my 100-day project by a couple of days because I took off for the N GA mountains and left my daily life behind for a few days. I have had unhelpful thoughts about this: I shouldn’t have done that, I should have done the work, I slacked off, etc. But of course, these are not helpful. I just need to get back on track, taking one step at time and I’ll get there. I may have impacted by momentum but that remains to be seen. Sometimes we need a break and that is all that is it, just a break. As long as I stay in the game, the benefits will come.

27. So I am behind in my 100-day project by a couple of days because I took off for the N GA mountains and left my daily life behind for a few days. I have had unhelpful thoughts about this: I shouldn’t have done that, I should have done the work, I slacked off, etc. But of course, these are not helpful. I just need to get back on track, taking one step at time and I’ll get there. I may have impacted by momentum but that remains to be seen. Sometimes we need a break and that is all that is it, just a break. As long as I stay in the game, the benefits will come.

28. Progress is the topic for today. I am working not only on two 100-Day projects but also on my Okra book. For the 100-Day projects, I am getting back on track after a couple of days off. On my book project, I asked a friend, who is a talented graphic designer, to help me design it. We had a good call a few days ago and she has gone off to see what comes up to her with the design. My sister is coming over (am in FL on the beach) and I am going to enlist her to help me capture stores. We are here for a few days so we have time to look at pictures and talk about Okra. I’ll get all these stories down and see where I am after that. Just taking the next step and not judging myself about any of it.

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