Another retiree

by dave2
(Near San Diego)

I just had my 63rd bday. I guess I am Dave 2 from CA. I retired from the military 20 yeas ago and retired from the local government agency in 2013. Loving the job. I was even able to go back to the same job and work 960 hours. I just finished that gig in February of this year.

I am similar to another writer here. I do not have any hobbies or friends. All of past co-workers are probably 10 to 20 years younger than me.

I do do one thing. I picknup the grand daughters from their school a couple of times a week. I have gone thru the usual stages, drank too much, slept to much.

Nothing is satisfying.

I am sort of getting into a regular walk here and there. Even when I told the family, I did not want anything in the way of a bday celebration, I had it anyway. I don't want to travel anywhere after many tours overseas in the Navy and Army. My daughter calls me old man and my son calls me dude.

Whatever I try to do, the wife corrects me so no wonder I only do anything when one is around.

i think I am ok money wise. I have a graduate degree.

People tell me to volunteer on the USS Midway, which I served on. Why would I want to do that where I experienced some of my most depressive moments in the Navy. I guess I am too sensitive.

Anyway, we all have to work through issues, mostly alone. Thanks for listening and I welcome any feedback.

Comments for Another retiree

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Understand
by: Anonymous

Dave - you sound like a very smart man, just feeling lost right now. You hit it when you said you had no friends. So hard to make friends at our age.

Good that you have your granddaughters to keep you busy and enjoy their company. My granddaughters are going to college soon. I will miss them so much.

I have only a couple of friends.

Remember when my children were small I had so many. That is why I am on rets, to talk to other people and have pen pals. You might think about that. Having people in your life is so important.

I am 65 and sometimes also feel lost. I am working on finding new friends to share my life with and learn from them, maybe new ideas that I might try. Everyone has something to share.

Good luck, this is just another chapter in your life and it is just time for a change.
Human Resourses Degree/Military
by: Joe W.

I believe that just about every company has a human resources department but in many cases many of these employees are not educated in this field like you are (Masters degree).

A niche that is opening up right now is finding jobs or the right small business opportunities for military personnel; especially after they come back to their own communities and need to adjust to civilian life.

I know that you are also going through this difficult transition. The difference is your skills line up to either getting some Government personnel work OR maybe set up a small business or a partnership with someone else to do outsourcing personnel work.

Joe W.
Going back to school
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

I did go back to school after holding an ADN for 25 years as an RN at the age of 58 and earned my BSN, than continued and earned my MHA, and finally in 2012 earned my MSN with the intention of working until I was 80 or pushed out.

However, as our health care system is declining to what I believe nursing is about and found it harder to tolerate. Also the needs to build a foundation with my young granddaughter before she got any older the pull to retire was much stronger.

While I spent a great deal of money and time earning those degrees, I do not regret doing so and even more have no regrets that I decided to retire.
Thanks
by: Anonymous

Thanks for all the nice comments. My MS degree is in Human Resiuces Management which I finished in 94 and never used and I have no experience. I guess I did not follow my career path good.

At the time, the military paid for 90 percent of my college and could not resist completing that degree. And I retired from the military over 20 years ago and it is amazing how techno guy has advanced so much.

I will make it somehow.
Retirement is not easy sometimes
by: Barbara NorthEast NJ

Dear Dave2,

I read your post and noticed you said you have a master's degree (if I read that right) - I'm just curious what it's in and if it's possible to do some job/teach (paid/or not) that you would enjoy?

I got downsized when I was 60 (I'm now 65) and started grad school at 62 (senior discount) for my counseling degree. I may or may not use it (I'm close to graduating - took my time), but I enjoy school.

What about you? Could you teach someone what you know or would you like to learn something new?

Just a thought,
Barbara
Empathy
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

In some ways I can empathize as we all retire and find that we have not real friends, or social life.

My best friend died in 2007 and my life was nursing and raising my kids for 35 years.

So retirement for the first year when I did it 3 years ago was a real struggle for me and I think I drove some folks away and my son and DIL crazy.

But I came to a great place with introspection and finding hobbies and getting to know who I am today.

So today I am loving my retirement and while not everything in my life turned out as I had hoped I am happy with me and my neighborhood and blessed with my granddaughter, and have learned I can do gardening which brings me peace and joy.

Good luck you have a lot going for you and with some effort I hope too you will find contentment and still some joy filled days ahead.
Old Man/Dude
by: Joe W.

Dave 2, What did you study re: Grad degree?

Does your military work experience qualify you for any post job training? I know some other ex-military types that get together to discuss job or entrepreneurial business opportunities.

Joe W.
We've only just begun
by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

Dave2:

Do you know who you are yet?

Answering this question is often the most difficult facet of retiring. Work apart from the home is such a powerful distraction. It afforded us a sense of accomplishment and gave us social perks to which we became addicted.

Breaking away from it can make us feel as if a mirror follows us around asking us who we really are because we have clung to our job identity for so long. Actually we are so very very much more that our work, no matter how important that work may have been.

We're like an iceberg that sits in the sun, not realizing we are part of a gigantic glacier that is three times our size and holds enormous potential power if it can be brought up into the light.

An expert once said "It is easier to deal with our weaknesses than it is to face our own potential power and innate spiritual strength . It can actually be scary to deal with our own light. Much easier to avert our eyes and run from it into the shadows.

Blessings. We have only just begun.
Dav2
by: Anonymous

Because there is already a Dave with his story published. My knowledge would have to be mostly confidential knowledge.

by: Wendy

Dave 2 (why the 2? always curious... :) )

If you have knowledge, why not share it online?

You might offer a class, or write a website, or do videos -- help people out there who need to know what you know!

Just a thought! Wendy

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