Marriage in Retirement

OK, if you are like most of us married folks, you've been married for 10, 20, 30 years and you both go your own ways, daily, to work. If you are the stay at home wife, you still have all day, alone, while he is away at work. Suddenly retirement hits, and BAM, togetherness 24/7. Yikes!

Marriage in Retirement isn't an easy road and actually needs some thought. Yes, many folks are married and happily retired, but it does take some "give and take" from both of them. If you were happy together before retirement, you likely will remain happy together. However, if the weekends seem rather long to you (before he / she returns to work), just wait until you are both together 24/7!

When married in retirement, normal life on a daily basis changes, and you must cope with adjustment. Retirement changes life loads, and the relationship with your spouse, your daily choices are all "new", even after years of marriage.

Depending on your marriage in retirement, any or all of the following could happen (and lots more):

Just being aware of the changes when married in retirement makes all the difference! Even if he is unaware, you are thinking about it, knowing he is going through a huge lifestyle change.. and just help him work through it.

GRIEVE the loss of employment. Just allow yourself and your spouse some down time to think about who they'll transition into. Help them through this depressed state with support and understanding as they renew and find themselves, again.

SUPPORT each other through this time. Talk about what you'd like to do in retirement. Do you both have the same thoughts on retirement or are you different (he thinks retirement means a hammock in the back yard on hot summer days, and she thinks computer classes would be wonderful to keep the brain thinking!)

TALK about your marriage in retirement - why not? It's a huge step in your lives -- so take the time to discuss what you'd both like to do in retirement.

FRIENDS are also necessary. You might need to reconnect with old friends or find new friends. It could be a simple card game with neighbors on a regular basis. Dinner out with friends. Church events for some socializing with like souls. However, you can't do everything together every day -- well, some couples can, and others can't.

Accept that you'll both go your own ways sometimes. He plays cards or golfs with his buddies and she might go shopping with a friend. In retirement, just like in pre-retirement lives, you don't have to be shackled together. Just TALK about it -- and give each other some privacy -- there is a healthy balance to the privacy-togetherness dance and you've just got to work a bit to find yours.

HOUSEHOLD DUTIES can be shared. Oddly enough, simple household chores can give you both satisfaction. If you have been the housekeeper for years, share some of your daily duties with him.

Let him help -- even if it isn't quite up to your standard. This provides you with some time away from the house, time to pursue your hobbies, or simply allows you to do the chores quicker so that you both have some pleasurable time when the housework is done.

A few ideas here:

Some folks actually divorce this late in life... retirement doesn't help an already shaky marriage. Don't let this happen to you (unless THAT action assures your retirement is happier).

You have to work through the lifestyle and relationship changes with your partner. Retirement affects nearly every aspect of your life, either positively or negatively, and its YOU who will determine how this part of your retirement goes.

If you take the time to work your marriage relationship in the retirement adventure, hopefully your marriage will gain strength as you enjoy retirement life! Together...

Marriage sometimes just doesn't work out.. divorce at retirement sometimes happens.. now what?

Let's Discuss how Retirement Affected Your Marriage... Good or Bad