Being Alone--The Time Will Come--Part Two

by Tom Damron
(Plano, Texas)

I just might imagine that you're reading this at this moment because you're either truly alone, finding yourself bored, and at this moment have no one to be with even though you may have a spouse of partner who is absent .


I want you to accept that whether you yearn to have a spouse or partner, or whether miss your family and friends, maybe this set of ideas will guide you to an activity that will help you cope with living alone now or later when the time does come.

We know that we humans are generally a social species, but that doesn't necessarily dictate that we can't be totally content and exist blissfully alone and without being a part of the social interplay.

Here are a few ideas for you to try that will soften the aloneness:

Take the plunge and learn something entirely new.

Learning is the key that opens the path to living alone. The process of learning not only occupies your time alone, it is the catalyst that connects you the doorway to society because it offers you something new to talk about with those you later interact with in society. It makes you more interesting and desirable when you do interact.

Learning isn't exclusive to books. Check with your local Community College. Get their program guide for adult classes and sign up to become a part of the learning experience again. Most offer writing, typing, art instruction, photography, golf, music, videography, tennis, languages, flower arrangement, gardening, composting, and demographic specific subjects depending on where your located.

You're reading the Retirement Community Bulletin, So Why Not Write.

Write. When you have learned the basics of writing (see Learning above) sit down and write a story. The best stories come from your own experiences. It can be a true story, a comical story, a serious story, but most of all, it's your story. Doing the story will magnify your imagination and, believe me or not, it relieves the stress and worry of being alone while keeping you happily occupied. You will feel better about yourself and you have something new to talk about with family and friends.

Go and Do What You Once Did.

Think. Think about what you used to do when you had a spouse of partner. Go do those same things. Pack a lunch and go to the park. Take your camera and take new pictures of the activities you see happening. Browse the bookstores like you once did, eat lunch in a crowded Mall and scrutinize the people. As you watch them passing by imagine what they do, where they're from, what they're there to buy, and then go home and write the story of your day.

Read More. Read more of the genre that has caught your writing interest.

Reading. Make a list of the authors that write specifically about the genre you've selected. It might be thrillers, mystery, love and romance, How To's, fantasy, science fiction, spy intrigue, true story, but no matter which genre, your learning process will be greatly boosted when you read successful authors. Study their writing style, the words they chose, and the construction of the plotting. Follow the development of the characters because they become the glue that makes the story work.

Join another online community.

Joining. I assume you have already joined the Retirement Community because you are reading this in the Bulletin. Look for additional online communities that offer specific access to the activity you've chosen from this idea list. For instance, Google+ has a Writer's community that has Worldwide members feeding ideas, names of publisher's that accept submissions, offers for cover designs and other outlets for your writing works. Check Bing, Google, or Duck Duck for interesting possibilities that may interest you.


If You Write, If You Are Learning, Whatever You Are Doing, Exercise.

Exercise. Sitting around is never good if that's all you do. Inactivity drains your energy and if you are going to learn, to write, to do what you did and read, then you need to get your body read for more energy. How do you do that? Easy, you do a few push-ups, you start doing sit-ups, you ride your bike in the park or on the new trails, get the elastic band stretchers and use them to strengthen your arms and legs, you go swim laps, and when you have your lunch in the park, you lightly jog. You'll be surprised to relive the fun you once had when doing simple exercises The key to making it work is to be consistent because it takes willpower and dedication to follow a schedule and stick with it daily. If you already belong to a health club or the Y, you have a head start on most of us.

You Get the Point of This List---Activity

Activities. This list merely scratched the surface. Depending on your age and health, there are many other ideas to avoid the feeling of being alone and lonely. You can volunteer at hospitals, schools, food banks, libraries, city services, Meals on Wheels and a variety of other charitable organizations that welcome extra hands.

Get a part-time job for one or two days a week so that your face is seen by other people. The co-workers can oftentimes become closer friends and assist with easing your feeling of being alone in the World.

One last suggestion--If nothing on the list fits you or hits your hot button, get a dog as your companion.

They are loving, friendly, happy, loyal, and they provide you with an outlet for a reason to speak aloud. They make good bedmates--whether you want them to or not--and will keep you warm on a chilly night.

Remember--Being Alone is often its own reward and can be fulfilling in many ways if your attitude is mentally and emotionally accepting of the fact.



Comments for Being Alone--The Time Will Come--Part Two

Click here to add your own comments

Being Alone 2
by: Betsy

WOW Tom!! I just LOVE your 2 posts!

What inspires me most about what you have said here is your age and the fact that you realized being alone at any age can still be rewarding...even exciting and fun.

I am so sorry about your wife, but it sounds like it was a healthy decision for both you and your family. My heart goes out to you. Care-Taking can take its toll on us. I know from experience. My Mom has crumbled after Dad died in July 2012. She is still alive, but has no interest in life which has landed her in the nursing home.

I think you are AMAZING! Coming this far after 46 years of marriage - then being able to face being alone and come alive again in your late 70's is so inspiring!!

I responded to your Part 1 (Being Alone by Betsy) with my own story of being alone, but I wanted to respond to your Part 2 with how much I have enjoyed these 2 posts!!

I plan to take some of your suggestions as well...more reading, writing, learning and exercise. As an amateur writer myself, I see so much potential in your writing!! If you ever write a book, I want to read it :-)

Productive longevity
by: Joe W.

Well Tom you've come through in your 'Part Two' segment to provide good ideas for seniors to become more active, creative and productive.

I advise that each individual senior have a place they can go to that welcomes them in their own Lifelong Learning journey. For me, it was the local public library where I could go daily including walking there and back 1-mile each way for my morning exercise. I didn't have a computer which motivated me to go to the library to research material for my book project.

I think most seniors will need help to get motivated to learn new things which can lead to a more meaningful business or social project at a later date. Being engaged and plugged in to whats going on in the World is a wonderful feeling.

Thanks Tom for writing your 'Two Part' masterpiece. Good Luck!

Joe W.


All good stuff
by: Anonymous

Try living alone with a semi mad neighbor who keeps going of her meds and causeing havoc... thats fun

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Tom Damron.