David: Retired Pastor, Realtor, Builder, Consultant?

by David Carter
(Brookhaven, MS, USA)

You can see by my title that I wore/wear many hats in profession roles. I am now realizing that I do not need to keep up the pace. My wife and I lost our only son to an auto accident 3 years ago. I have been a very diligent person working long hours and expressing relentless effort to continue to be financially productive. We do not need the income but I continue to work.


I have continued in real estate. Due to having been rather productive, I continue a rather high level of productive life. But since my son's death, I have not been able to manage as much stress as I did. Now, I am/have made the decision that it is my time to "hang-it-up".

Therefore, I am gearing-down to a more passive life. I still work as pastor, counsel, and lead a discipleship group. I am realizing that I am not able to do as much as I did. I thought it would bother me when I reached these limitations, but it is not much of a bother. It is more difficult for me to handle details. I am glad my wife is capable of relieving me and handling some of the details.

I am open to advice and to give advice.

Wendy: You didn't give your age but if you know in your heart that you are ready to step down, you are ready to step down... I struggled for years but suddenly, just like many retirees told me, I was ready! Done!

I'm happy that you waited three years to retire, to allow yourself time to grieve and get past your sons death (that is, if we ever get past something like that...) You might have just retired, not quite ready, and then hit the brick wall of retirement depression, but you didn't!

The good thing is that you won't retire to
"nothing" as many do.. you still can do your church work (just as I have my websites to work on!) That identity is a huge plus in your own retirement transition.

Two Ideas:

Build a website for future income as I'm doing.. read my Retire to the Internet here.

Start a blog to share your thoughts with the world as my Monk friend did.. he'd love to hear from anyone out there as he faces his own semi-retirement soon! His blog is: Monks Do Not Retire.. More Retiree Blogs on the left navigation bar!

Best Wishes!


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OVERCOMING GRIEF ....
by: (Mr.) Durgesh Kumar Srivastava JiBhaiya@gmail.com New Delhi, India

He was my long-time neighbour. We both built our houses in a new city development area together in the early 1970s. House-builders very quickly develop a commonality of interests. Strangers begin talking to each other and become friends. He became my friend although he was senior to me by about 20 years. I began calling him Babuji (a respectful way of addressing a senior man).

One day in the mid 1980s a neighbour informed Babuji that there had been a road accident nearby. They were talking and wondering who the victim was when a police van came and stopped at Babuji's gate. The unfortunate victim was Babuji's only son aged about 30 years, married and with two small children - a boy and a girl. The neighbourhood was plunged into gloom.

There was no way to console Babuji and his family. After about a month or so, I saw Babuji for the first time after the tragedy He was going to fetch milk from the booth walking slowly and with faltering steps. We exchanged a few words but nothing more. I was at a loss for words.

Then I met him again after a few weeks in the park. He asked me to come and sit with him on the same bench i knew that he wanted to talk about something. After a little hesitation, he told me that he wanted his widowed daughter-in-law to get remarried but was finding it difficult to find a match because in Indian social conditions a widow with children would not get suitable re-marriage proposals.

i told him of a way out. Let the children be adopted by the grandparents. Babuji liked the idea and said that he would pursue it. About two years after the death of his son, Babuji arranged the wedding of his daughter-in-law in cooperation with her parents, who had adopted the girl child while the male child was adopted by Babuji and his wife.

Babuji became busier than before, taking the small boy to the school and bringing him back in the afternoon. The boy grew up well, eventually becoming an engineer.

Babuji is now in his late 80s and still active. I see him going to the milk booth. He walks with a limp and some pain. He consulted me again about a possible knee joint replacement. i arranged for him to speak to my sister who has had a knee replacement in July.

i know Babuji will be able to handle this too.

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Mr. Durgesh Kumar Srivastava
New Delhi, India, 20th November, 2010
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