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I Retired

by J Robertson
(Canada)

I have been retired since December 9/16.
I wanted to retire.
I planned my retirement.
I did not cry when I left the building on that last, final day.
I realize it's early days.
I expected there would be an adjustment.
I do not feel like my normal self (which can be quite abnormal at the best of times).
I'm so very tired, physically tired.
If I was a turtle and had a shell, I would pull myself inside and tuck away for some long period of time.
I have a husband who's been retired one year longer than me.
I am torn between wanting to withdraw and rest and figure out what my future will hold and having to be 'up' for anything suggested to me.
I'm not feeling very kind, or patient or much of a partner right now.
I don't like being like this, I know it won't last.
Tomorrow is another day.

Comments for I Retired

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Coming Soon!
by: Anonymous

I am retiring at the end of this month, and I can hardly wait. I have a long list of things I want to do but haven't had time for. I am going to join a yoga class and the Toastmasters Club here in my town--two things I have been wanting to do for years but just haven't had the energy for while holding down a 45-hour/week job, keeping house, visiting kids/grandkids, and raising foster kids.

I am going to finish two books I started writing years ago, read more, and start a blog. I have two new gardens started and abandoned (one vegetable and one flower) that are overtaken with weeds--gonna reclaim them from nature.

I am going to join a church and get active again in my local political party meetings.

I have two very naughty Labs that need a lot more attention. And I am going to keep my rocking chair on the back porch company every sunset.

I just wish I could find a group of musicians to jam with a couple of times a month!

I think I am in what they call the "honeymoon" phase, but it sure feels great to be this excited about something after so many months of workplace burnout!

I understand!!
by: Nancy from Texas

I am going through an adjustment too. I am only working two days a week, but the office is closing in the very near future. I am already restless.

I am an introvert also and it's hard for me to meet people. I have tried several ways but never seem to find friends. The friends I have are so busy in their own lives that I rarely see them.

I am thinking about another part time job. . . but what can I do? I can't stand on my feet for hours. I don't need a lot of stress. I just need to belong somewhere. A purpose besides keeping house and taking care of my husband and pets. I love them dearly, but I need something for me too. Where do I start????

Sleepless in Ohio
by: Barbara/Ohio

I am struggling, but getting better.

For the person who commented about getting meds for depression, please read my post as the meds may be making matters worse.

See the ink to my post:
http://www.barbaracomeshome.com

Peace, Barbara

I retired
by: Nancy

Your post sounds so familiar. I was a year and a half into retirement when I found Wendy's retirement community and oh, what a relief to read all the posts. Especially the ones about depression.

I still feel like a turtle after 5 years, but that's okay. I am an introvert and being around people is a strain. When it comes to having to spend time with people, it takes me several hours to get over it. Most of the time I am tired and need to rest, and that is okay too.

I have many enjoyable hobbies that enrich my life and I have a husband and pets which are wonderful company.

I wish you all the best. When I was at my worst people said, "get a part-time job, volunteer". What I needed to do is listen to my body and do what is right for me. Keep coming back.

Make a plan - list of things to do daily
by: Michael Hertel

Please try to set up an every day list showing times when you are going to do certain things.

Having such a plan in place to make oneself take action will make taking action easier.

I Retired
by: Jacqueline - Canada

Give yourself a chance to adjust actually BEING retired! Even though you were prepared, and looking forward to it, it is still an adjustment - no more routine, no more of knowing exactly what you are gonna do today.

In the meantime, enjoy it! Sleep in, read, go for long walks, do stuff with your husband that you did not have time for before, such as travelling, going to movies....Spend time with your pets, if you have any, call your friends that you were always too busy or too tired to see...volunteer....perhaps get a part-time job later on....see your grandchildren......

Once all your feelings settle down, and you realize you are free and can do anything you want or don't want to, you will begin to enjoy your retirement!

Stay with us on your journey
by: Sandy

Oh, gosh. Your note touched me and reminded me that I was right where you are at one time. I never thought it would end. I never expected to be mourning the loss of my job, even though I chose to leave. But it all happened. And now it is happening to you and has happened to so many of us.

I am sure many of us would like to take away your pain and tell you it will be OK. And it will. But right now, you probably would not believe it. so read our posts - all of them. And find that, for those of us who suffered terribly, some of us have come out of that dark place. Some are still trying. And a very few fortunate ones never found that place - they are the lucky ones.

Please share your feelings here and know that you will receive support and understanding. What you are going through is normal but horrible. I hope your process is a short one and you come out of the other end as a stronger, happier person. Wishing you so much peace.

Too Tired
by: Joe W.

What kind of work were you & your husband doing before you both retired?

IT'S UP TO YOU!
by: Sheila White

You say you planned your retirement but not what would come after. I wonder what your husband is doing. You say he's been retired one year already. Can you two get together and find new interests that you can share?

I think that answering these letters about retirement pros and cons is really a waste of everyone's time. Each person must make his or her own life. Reading what others have done is fine, but we are individuals. You could read a hundred such advice comments and not find one that would suit YOU. I guess just writing makes you feel better, in which case, fine. But that isn't helping in the long run.

A woman I know just told me today that she and her husband are separating -- after 50 years of marriage. They moved in near me five years ago and he's been miserable ever since and is now drinking to excess. Maybe the separation will do something to mend the breach, who knows, or this could be a solution.
Whatever happens she doesn't want to spend the next 20 or so years miserable.

As always, it's a personal decision. Good luck.

OK to be a Turtle
by: Cindy, St. Louis MO

Your feelings are real. If you need to be a turtle, be one -- and make no apologies for it. When you're ready to explore your own retirement possibilities, go for it.

I retired
by: mildred/tn

Please go to your doctor and get something for depression!! Even tho you do not think you have depression. This is what happened to me..I did not feel depressed. My family did not think that I was depressed but I am treated for depression for last 12 years. Now at 78 I am forgetful and diagnosed w/ pseudo dementia due to depression. It is terrible. He has doubled my medicine and I am hopeful it will be the answer. It helps to get out of the house.

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