Lazy retired husband

by Beth from Indiana

My husband retired on May 31 after shoulder surgery and rehab.

We discussed retirement and if he had a " plan". I work part time so I can remain active and socialize because he wants to talk about TV shows 24/7. He does do dishes and laundry but on weekends when I am home he does not help.

His health is already declining as his fathers did when he retired. He tells me to let him know if there is a chore I would like him to do but when I ask him to do something he says "You want me to do everything".

He is in charge of yardwork but I am outside spraying weeds and doing other chores. He does just enough to say he did something.

I have tried conversations with him but he just gets angry. He has a stationary bike and golf equipment but they r gathering dust.

I am out of options. What next?

Comments for Lazy retired husband

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Totally normal
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

To me, this is totally normal for a while. He is healing, feeling a bit bad about being retired, trying to figure it all out in his head.

He's now been retired for six months so he might be getting into lazy retirement mode (not really good) or he might suddenly find himself and start doing something -- and that something might not be housework but maybe volunteering, working on the car, walking the dog more often, joining a gym, etc

Time will tell. It's time for him to get moving... a gym might be good to keep that shoulder moving. My husband goes at 8:30am daily and he visits with maybe 20ish other retirees he met there. They all show up, do the work, and chat about life on the side! It helps to get that social conversation back into life again!

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