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No motivation

I am 64 and retired. I have been a foster.parent for 33 years, I only take newborn infants. It is like raising a child for their first year over and over again.


I decided to retire because as the babies stay longer and longer, physically I am tired. I haven't taken a baby for 6 months. And I feel terrible.

I have no motivation at all... I sleep late and I have either had a cold or some kind of virus ever since. I don't feel like doing anything..nothing makes me feel good.

My husband has not retired yet and I don't know if he ever will ,He is self employed. I have 5 kids 7 grandkids and 2 great grandkids.

But I feel old and useless.

Comments for No motivation

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Motivation, No ?
by: Pat Dias Ma.

Thank you, Thank you, everyone. You have all been the motivation that I needed.

You have given me a lot to think about.... probably all I could have come to on my own but needed you all to reinforce it. I will try..

No Motivation
by: Mary H AZ

Have you considered offering only emergency respite care for babies. This would be for a weekend or a few days at a time with the option of not having to say yes each time. Seems like a transition into total retirement would be best for you. Good luck!

Baby cuddling
by: Kate

There is a great need for baby cuddlers at area hospitals. Babies who may be born addicted to drugs, or premature, or many other reasons why they can't go right home from the hospital, need some rocking, holding and cuddling. You could make your own schedule. This is a very rewarding experience and may give you what you and the babies need.

Baby cuddling
by: Anonymous

There is a great need for baby cuddlers at area hospitals. Babies who may be born addicted to drugs, or premature, or many other reasons why they can't go right home from the hospital, need some rocking, holding and cuddling. You could make your own schedule. This is a very rewarding experience and may give you what you and the babies need.

No motivation
by: Yvonne in Lavon, TX

The 1st idea that popped into my mind was to reach out and find a way to assist new mothers. Without having to care for the babies yourself, you would be able to share your wealth of knowledge. Maybe as a community class, individual instruction or even writing a book.

Reason to get up in the morning.
by: Maureen, on the road

First One should not retire to nothing. Second when my father died and there were still 4 boys at home my mother had a reason to get up and get going.

You don't have to have the babies in your home. You can volunteer with children in the school, at the library, in child care programs that help young mothers finish school.

If you are not burnt out find a new passion. Or just get out and volunteer for anything. It is called purpose. You need a purpose to get out of bed.

Good Luck and thank you for your service in giving those little ones a good start.

Hmm
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

Hmm as I can see that raising babies as we age can become challenging, however it sounds like your heart was in it and what has kept you living.

We don't grow old because of the years we grow old because we stop doing the things that keep us motivated and living life.

I think you should consider talking to a Social worker at the foster care system and see if something can be worked out to allow you to continue doing what obviously you love and has kept you motivated and give you a way to have breaks so as not to task you too much. Or find some way to do what sounds like is a gift God has given you and a purpose that keeps you living and enjoying life.

Oh Hon...
by: Rox/BHC

I've been there, but with working. It was my LIFE. I had to strive all the time and enjoyed it. When I was not able nor allowed (hired) to do it any more I got frustrated along with depressed and found that (from talking to people in the know, a therapist/counselor) I was just doing this to myself.

I learned that if you do not go ON you will be a victim to ANYTHING.

So...I got a kitten, bought what I KNEW I would keep, bought some to be a little frivilous, and WENT OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH A SMILE INSIDE AND MY EYES THERE TOO.

It worked just going to the store. I could finally feel the people around me and, though it will take baby steps (as coming out of depression takes) every day is just a bit better cause I have a get up reason (my cat) and keep going reason (my home). Adjust dear.

You can be helpful with other similar things, if not through church or city hall (or such) a group. I found ALL kinds of things in our local newspaper under 'volunteering'. Be glad you are able, AT ALL.

Babys' are rather demanding...do you still need THAT? They are living, you do it too.

You are normal...
by: Wendy

At 64, raising babies must be difficult... but you've done this for a lifetime, and are grieving the loss of babies in your life.

Your bod needs a rest, breathe in deeply, you probably haven't had time breathe and actually enjoy, as you, in a very very long time.

NOW -- start thinking about what you want to do in life. You have many years left, what hobby or creative pursuit might you like to try? A book club? Start your own LUNCH BUNCH club for lunch out with some friends?

Bottom Line: Someone with your tenacity of taking on babies in your 60s still has lots to share in the world. Just start opening your eyes and considering your options -- I assure you, there are many.

P.s. I had a friend who volunteered on a Foster Parent panel. You might also become a Child Advocate.. nothing full-time, like foster parents, but something to contribute your wealth of knowledge: CASA, http://www.casaforchildren.org/

Best Wishes

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