Out of nowhere...
retirement anxiety and depression

by AnneD
(New York)

My husband and I both retired in June of 2010. I volunteer two days a week at the school where I taught for 30 years - my husband does nothing.

After a great first year of traveling together, out of nowhere my husband developed anxiety three months ago. He is constantly fearful although we have no real financial concerns.

Then two months ago, just as he had lined up a volunteer position at a museum, my husband herniated a disc in his back and now depression has been added to the mix.

After three months of pep talks, my son and I are losing our patience and find that we are often angry with my husband. This is so disturbing.

Wendy: Please get him to a doctor for professional help, possibly meds. Your pep talks, though well-meaning, probably won't help. If he is mentally unwell, his logic is off... your pep talks might simply sound like nagging. He knows he isn't feeling right, but may be powerless to help himself.

Depression and/or anxiety simply isn't simple. He doesn't choose to be down, chemical imbalances, medication side effects, lifestyle changes... anything can lead to depression.

My mother has a great life at 86, with no money worries, family, friends, husband... and great anxiety for no reason whatsoever. Meds really helped her regain her life.

I pray he gets helps soon, even if he doesn't understand the need to see a doctor. Please help him get an appointment. It's really important...

Sending many prayers your way.