Retired & Awake at 8am?

by Cindy
(Florida)

I lived for the weekends when I could sleep till ten. And I did, with no problem.


Then I decided to retire at 65 and now I wake up at 8 and stare at the ceiling filled with anxiety on the verge of a panic attack!

Not that I've ever had one but I can feel it coming on soon. I've been a working person since I was 16 and thought I would LOVE to be a free spirit and enjoy life. Now, I am scared to death!

I consider myself an intelligent person who knows that I should either do something part time, start a little business on the side or volunteer. But, the problem is I can't START anything. Can't seem to get off dead center.

My co workers, who I thought would be calling me for lunch or a drink after work have just moved on to the next co worker or probably have LIVES of their own. I kind of, sort of did this with co workers in my past who retired. Now I'm on the other side of that coin.

I am a widow with a relationship that just ended so that adds to my feelings of desertion and lack of self worth right now.

So, in conclusion, I know what I should do and get off my lazy but, go out there, volunteer, take classes, etc but how do I get the desire and motivation to do it?

Comments for Retired & Awake at 8am?

Click here to add your own comments

Up at 8am
by: Fla

Silver Sneakers!. I now have that and from your post, you have given me the motivation to check it out.

I have learned so much from this site. I was laid off 4 weeks ago and much like you, I wake up at 8, which I guess is late after 40 years of having the alarm go off at 4.

I really thought I was the only one on this emotional roller coaster. Feel so much better after finding this site.

Would like to write
by: Anonymous

I would like to write to you, but I like to write in the 'snail mail' posts. I like to go to my mailbox and see a friend inside. Would you like to write to me in the regular post. My e-mail
is: dkleyensteuber aT gmail.com

I can, I can, I can
by: Anonymous

Sounds like you know what you need to do. Having gone through much of what you are now experiencing I know that motivation has to be acquired.

If you wait until you 'feel like it' or 'feel motivated', it will never happen. You need to make yourself get moving and do some of the things that you dreamed of doing but didn't have time for when you were working.

Life is a series of changes. You no longer work so you need something to replace that.

Sometimes lasting friendships are acquired in the work place but for the most part the only thing that group of people have in common is their job and once that is no longer shared, the commonality ends.

When you wake up, tell your 'This is the day I am going to take control of my life. Today I am going to take the first step in starting this adventure called retirement. Today I am going to...... Fill in with one thing you have always thought you would like to do if you only had the time.

Go for it! Forget about whether or not you feel up to it or feel motivated. Make yourself move and do something. Motivation, like anything has, has to be developed.

You can do it. Remember the little engine from childhood......

I think I can, I know I can, I can, I can, I can.


8 AM Got Off Dead Center
by: Cindy

Wow, I was so surprised to get all of your nice comments on my dilemma. Well, I went to a gym in my area and signed up for Silver Sneakers! I was nervous and anxious but it changed everything for me. The people there were so nice and welcoming.

I used to own an exercise studio years ago so I thought it would be a good thing to start with.

After listening to all of your comments, I realize that I am definitely not alone. Thanks a million for the support and here's one little story about something that happened to me today.

I was walking out to my car and a lady with a cane, walking very very slowly said to me... "Well, you walk nice and sprightly, don't you?" As I looked at her struggling, I realized that she would give anything to be me and I had no right to be down about me at all. So, off I go to exercise again tomorrow and will start looking for other things to do as well.

Great talking to all of you!

Wendy: I love your story of what happened today -- One lady comments and something hits home with you! That's exactly what happens here. It only takes one retirees small comment to change someones thoughts, attitudes, make em take action! I am absolutely thrilled you are starting with the workout route - I bet the gym alone lifts your moods and gets you revved up quick! Best Wishes!


Been there, done that
by: Miriam

Hi there,

Believe me,I know the feeling. It is very hard to get the motivation to get yourself moving and go on with your life.

When you work, you have a purpose each day you have to tackle. When you retire, your time is your own.

When you live by yourself trying to find things to fill your day is most difficult. Losing touch with your work friends is an adjustment and making new friends is an adjustment also. Your whole life changes when you retire and it is not easy.

I do not have any concrete answers for you, but I can offer my friendship to you. I have been retired since 2003. I live in Florida also and I live alone. I would like to become email friends with you, perhaps we could motivate each other.

My ad is on this sight also. I have 'met' some very nice people here. Anyway, if you wish too try and be email friends please email me. At the very least, we could share a laugh or two. My name is Miriam and my email address is: 1novelidea at
att.net
My very best to you. Miriam

Get up and action
by: Anonymous

Since you already have the desire to have activities (volunteer, part-time job and.....)in your mind, just get up from (bed/chair)and GO! GO! GO! OTHERWISE IT WILL NEVER HAPPENED...

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, BE HAPPY AND GO FOR YOUR HEART DESIRE...

it will work out??
by: Brenda

Cindy, Its quite a natural thing for you to feel like this, but it will work out, just you wait and see.

Get up and get out, go dancing and helping others is the greatest reward you can have, and you will make friends as well... and life will be like a rose, a bud now, but your life will blossom and happiness will follow.

Cindy, I am in London and your there, pity we are not near, we could go out and have a good laugh and a good time, dancing and joking and going away for days.

So don't worry, life is just starting for you, so make the most of it.

I will be thinking of you.
brendaxxx

Oh have you noticed the time i a writing this, wish I could sleep until 8am.

Response to Retired & Awake at 8am!
by: Irwin Lengel

Cindy:

Surely you have something you enjoy doing - reading, writing, dancing, traveling?

Up until 2004, I didn't have any problems finding things to do. We retired in 1996 and haven't looked back once.

But when three operations within a five month period took its toll on me back in 2004 (the first one was a 4-way heart by-pass operation that I recovered from rather nicely; the second one was a gall bladder attack during the middle of a hurricane but I managed to overcome that as well; but when the third operation for prostate cancer was over (heart in June - gall bladder in August and Prostate in October), that one took its toll. I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. I could have very easily become a recluse.

Once I got over the "pity me" problem I was going through, I finally woke up and said to myself, it's all up to you, meaning myself. Either I could pull myself up by the boot straps and find something to do with my time or just give up and wait for the grim reaper to come take me away.

I chose life and became involved in line dancing, community activities, writing, and anything that had an ounce of interest that I thought I might enjoy doing. Our lives are too short to begin with and so I decided one day I was going to make the best of what I still had and not dwell on what I didn't have.

So, in essence, it boils down to you and what you want to do with the rest of your life. I have two favorite sayings: "Life is too short not to dance" and as Yoda would say: "Do or do not...there is no try!"

I am sure there is something you truly enjoy doing that you may not have had time to do when you were working.

Now would be a good time to follow that dream.

Read more of Irwin's articles here! Read his intro to see what he truly struggled through, then his life today, and the joy he brings to others!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anxiety and Depression.