Why don't men have as many hobbies as women?


(Michigan)

I was forced into retirement at age 62 and was disappointed this happened and struggled for several years. However, I developed many hobbies and a large group of friends.

When he retired, he was shocked that I was gone many days of the week and I told him to find a hobby. He loves to play golf but his "buddy" was often hindered from playing by his wife and then his health. SO no golf - find others to play with, go volunteer and the local VFW, etc.

He spends hours using the computer sitting on his lap in front of the TV and playing on his phone.

We have traveled extensively in the past but with COVID life has changed and so has our relationship. COVID isn't only killing people, it is killing marriages.

He thinks that not having a hobby is my problem - not his. Married 46 yrs. Time to make a list - why should I stay - benefits of leaving.

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Some Men Have Hobbies
by: Canadian Retiree

That’s an interesting question because my husband has more hobbies than I do and he loves being retired and staying home.

I was going to an art class before Covid isolation. My husband is not well and we seem to be disagreeing more than usual. I think it’s because we are stuck at home. I do get out to shop but that’s about it. We have no family and friends live too far away to Visit. I miss my job and coworkers. I wish I had just kept working as long as possible.

I thought my husband and I might travel in retirement but because of his health and now the restrictions, it doesn’t look like we will. Our house is in bad need of updating and I can’t get my husband interested in this undertaking either. It’s frustrating.
Wasted time
by: Jane/Texas

I agree with the previous writer. You would think that after 47 years you could find something you like about the man. Many marriages have to go through some changes upon retirement. Interests and purpose has changed for you both.

He suddenly not "his job" and does not have a schedule dictated by his job. He does not have the co-workers to help him get through his day.

I am a widow. Believe me, I would give anything for another five minutes of doing nothing with my husband.

Apparently, he is the last thing you think is important or want to spend time with. You could try things together but that would mean re-thinking your own retirement. You might enjoy doing something with him. I bet with a little effort you might find something you like about him.

After 47 years you might try.
working without hobby
by: Anonymous

Men so often spend so much time working that they have no time to develop a hobby.
Be your husband's friend
by: Michael D. Bell, REALTOR®, Venice Florida and the Catskills in NY!!

One of the problems with retirement is that you and your spouse are around each other all of the time.

Do you and your spouse same some common interests? Are there some new interests that you could explore together?

Your husband needs his best friend now, and I hope that person is YOU. Instead of running for the door, ask yourself what you can do to help your husband and your relationship. Maybe some counseling would help.
Hobbies aren't the answer
by: Wee-zer

I am a woman and don’t have what I would call hobbies either. Some things I enjoyed when I was younger don’t interest me much anymore. Not everyone wants to join groups and personally, I would have no interest in joining most things, as I am an introvert.

It is interesting to read your distain for your husband you have spent 46 years with. You seem to be a social butterfly but you can’t find time to do things with your husband? Why can’t you find a volunteer opportunity to do together?

Spend a few hours each week and go to a park, have an ice cream treat. Volunteer at a local Animal Rescue group, a soup kitchen, knitting hats for cancer patients. Men do knit and if they don’t know how, they can learn. Watch a great series on Netflix or other streaming service. Make a date at home to spend time together.

I think instead of making a list on the benefits of leaving, you should be making a list of why you have been married for 46 years and have no interest in your relationship to the man you married. It amazes me that you are more interested in friends than your husband.

My husband and I have been married for 47 years and besides being married, he is my best friend.

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