Death of a Spouse

Women - Pay Attention!

Consider for a moment, the pending death of your spouse...

If your husband died tomorrow, do you know how to take care of your household bills? If you are reading this, and thinking this is a silly question -- think again.

My mother in law lost her husband 30 years before she died. At his death, she didn't know how to write out a personal check. He had controlled the household budget, paid the bills, done the income tax. He drove (she didn't), he grocery shopped... and she enjoyed life with her children, hobbies and crafts - until he died. Wham - she had to learn quickly how to manage a household with children, without him. He wasn't a controlling man, and she was perfectly happy with her life, but imagine her anxiety in those first few years after his death! Don't let this happen to you...

Do you know where all the paperwork is for your mortgage, wills, life insurance, health care, pensions? Sounds like an silly question, once again.... right?

Years ago, I worked with an employee who was very ill and waiting for a transplant. He visited my office several times each year for a few years -- and every time, he wanted to be reassured that everything was set for his wife. "If anything happens to me, my wife gets my life insurance, my health care, my deferred compensation account, and a life time pension, right?" And I'd reply, over and over... "Yes, right, and here is your updated pension calculation for your records".

Unfortunately, he didn't make it to retirement -- the transplant never came and my friend passed away. His widow and their son visited my office to find out what she might have coming. The were completely clueless on what she was entitled to. In fact, they joked about his desk at home... piled high with tons of paperwork they now needed to sort through.

I always found it so odd -- he never told her how he had provided for her. It probably was difficult to think about the possibility of his death -- and especially to talk to your own spouse about that possiblity. Instead, he lived those last few years, hoped for the best, and pretended all was well...

I often wonder how much his wife worried -- before his death and afterwards. If I was her, I would have been totally stressed... worrying about is health and also about a future without him. Knowing he was ill but still employed, she probably worried about how she'd make it on one income. Could she remain in the home? Would she receive health care from his employer? And yet -- afraid to make the illness "real" by asking him the questions she worried about daily.

JUST ASK QUESTIONS --