I was terrified to retire, and now I know why
I retired in June 2015 after almost 40 years as a teacher and school counselor. I was terrified to retire because I tend to get depressed when I don't have a reason to get up in the morning. But, I was so burned out and my health was failing to the point that I had used up all my sick days and then some.
The first year I retired, I ended up falling and breaking my arm, so I spent that year working on rehabilitating. That filled my days and gave me a daily schedule of things to do.
The next year I took a part time counseling job at a charter school and one of my students was murdered and several other students were severely mentally ill. I just didn't want that much drama in my life any more, so I did not return to that job this year.
So, now, here I am two and a half years later and I am bored out of my mind. I am very physically active---I work out almost every day, take dance lessons of different kinds, etc. But I just feel so blah. I have always had a huge need for solitude, which I don't get much of anymore because my husband just retired also.
We get along wonderfully, but I'm not accustomed to having him around 24/7 and sometimes I just want to leave and be by myself somewhere else. I am childless by choice, so no grandchildren or anything like that.
I really miss my students---talking to them and guiding them----but I don't miss hearing the sad, miserable stories that burned me out when I was a full time counselor.
I'm active in a church, but even those activities don't appeal to me much anymore. I've been testing out getting involved in politics---there are several issues I feel very strongly about---but even that stresses me out.
Sometimes I just sit and stare into space and don't really care about doing anything.
I'm not a TV watcher---never have been. I tried taking up knitting and crocheting---UGH! BORING!!! I read, read, read all the time, but still life seems pretty empty.
I guess I'll just keep on trying different activities until I figure out this retired life. Thanks for reading this far!