Don't be afraid to find closure
For 14 years I have been a widow. Not a happy marriage in the last years. Won't bore you with that story.
In my mind, I always wondered about the guy who asked me to marry him and move to California - I live on the East Coast. With Google I saw the house he had bought for me, his phone number - Wanting to call him I hesitated each time. I was 110 lbs when he last saw me, 50 years ago. I had gained weight, went to college in my mid-40s. All kinds of excuses - sure he is married happily, etc.
Finally, after 10 years of yo-yoing in my mind, I sat at my computer - the next day was Valentine's Day. I was determined to call him and say "Hello, I still love you".
I typed in his name and his obit came up. He had died the week before.
Never married, his two passions in life as noted by his neighbors was the brand of car I had when he knew me, and trains, I had worked for transportation in that field. Every day I regret that I did not make that phone call earlier.