Divorce and Retirement - those two words just don't work together, do they? Divorce around the time of retirement seems quite incompatible to me... but it happens.
Retirement and Divorce happens to long time 30 year marriages, as well as newer marriages that simply don't bear the test of time.
Before you go through a divorce, you might consider a Legal Marriage Separation instead. Just another divorce option while you are in the "maybe" stage.
Plus you might be able to remain covered by your spouses health care insurances, if covered by former employer as part of the retirement package. Divorce will terminate those rights. Health care is expensive.
Before you divorce, think twice. I recognize that Marriage after Retirement isn't always easy -- sometimes it gets better, sometimes not.
evaluate your marriage and be honest with yourself -- how good was good
and how bad was bad? Is it possible that you should try again? Did you
stay together just because it was simpler than divorce? Was he/she
controlling? Do you realize you could spend the rest of your life alone?
Everything suddenly changes -- good or bad -- depending on how you handle it. It's YOUR choice on how you live the rest of your life... it really is!
Maybe you'll find a new relationship after divorce!
If you choose divorce, think twice about how YOU approach it. A Divorce
at Retirement might just be the Freedom you always wanted. For
one gal at my church, it is... I've never seen a retired woman so "happy
go lucky" and this gal just glows (despite a recent divorce after a 30
year marriage). She doesn't have all the financial resources she needs
(that's not it at all), but she is happy!
Just think -- she doesn't have to cook meals if she feels like running out instead. She can do crafts all day and leave them on the dining room table for a month (grin!). She might take an adult education course, volunteer for church, meet friends for the buy 1 - get 1 free lunches, whatever she chooses to do!
She can come and go as you please... nobody to report to, just her own new found freedom, her own way with the world.
Click to view on Amazon! #ad
Finances... your divorce lawyer will help you sort through the equitable split in your divorce monies and household items. Beware: an divorce attorney can totally help you; but the split depends on the couple agreeing on it all. Any attorney will charge you for every call, every court appearance -- so be fair and try to settle between the two of you as much as possible.
Save your monies for a long retirement, instead of making a divorce attorney richer.. Grin!
Now, you might have a good understanding on how finances are handled in your household. BOTH partners should always be aware of where important documents are located and how much you have in savings, and how expenses fit in your life. If you don't know, find out... always be aware of what your financial situation is.
If you are considering divorce, start documenting and copying some financial documents now. You can even take photos with your phone! Just document your financial circumstances BEFORE you talk divorce.
Divorces can get nasty, especially where money is involved. Accounts can disappear, money unaccounted for, and more. PLEASE PLEASE - Plan ahead so you know what is out there and can provide the documents needed to the attorney.
All company pensions in divorce are part of the marital assets to be split. You seriously need to understand how divorce affects your retirement benefits. Domestic Relations Orders (below) are the court document itself.
Social Security will not be affected by a divorce. You are still entitled to your own benefit or half of your spouses (assuming you were married at least ten years), for life, even if they remarry later. Learn more here.
Assuming you divorce, does the court order a Domestic Relations Order to split a company pension? QDRO / EDRO's are court orders issued in divorce situations to assure that spouses share an employers retirement benefits.
If a divorce happens after years of marriage, don't miss out on this benefit, PLEASE don't simply forfeit your rights to a future benefit...
Finally, BEWARE! We all know darn well that some spouses lie and cheat -- not all of them, but some do. If you even think something
odd is happening, trust your intuition and watch closely.
Why blind yourself (it's called "denial", right?) if something is happening and you choose not to recognize it? If nothing else, get copies of all your financial statements, in case you need them some day....
One woman was married for 30 years, and her husband pushed her towards
retirement. He came to my office to help her in the retirement
decisions, and calmed her retirement jitters -- just like hundreds of
other husbands have over the years. Fine.
NOT SO FINE -- within months, he was living in Florida (she was still in Michigan) with a "blond bimbo" as she calls the new partner.
Unfortunately, her retirement was locked in, he gets her lifetime pension at her death. She is suddenly retired, single, and can't make it on her pension alone. She is two years from Social Security. She returns to work, sells her home, lives with reduced living expenses on a smaller income, and try to work through the huge emotional burden of betrayal. There were signs, but she didn't see them until it was too late.
Now, who knows... this may have been complete Freedom for her, in the end, or maybe not. I only know about her shock at the betrayal AFTER she completed her retirement paperwork. I hope and pray she found peace... and happiness!
Please, Please, if something doesn't feel quite right, don't look the other way.
What about new relationships after divorce? Do you go there?
Divorce is never nice... especially in retirement when you assumed you'd grow old together.