1 yr in, retired at 60. Part two: the journey continues

by Kevin
(Madeira, Ohio)

Read Part 1 Here


I am really touched by many of the responses to my first posting and also much more conscious of the number of people that are experiencing exact, or a subset of, common elements of retirement depression.

In the time since I first shared my personal story, nothing has really been fully resolved nor the depression totally lifted, but that’s the very nature of life itself whether you’re working or not.

I begin to recognize the reality that we each are wired completely differently but with categoric similarities; groupings in the way we react and live with our environmental stresses.

Some people really do walk into retirement with a smile, cast off the shackles of being “identity tied” to their careers, and live a boundlessly happy life while not feeling a trace of the gray clouds that darken other’s retirements. Of none of their own fault, many of those people drive us partiy cloudy types somewhat crazy.

One commonality I notice amongst the truly at peace retired is that all parts of themselves buy into the concept and definition of retired happiness.

I have a new friend, in that class of retired happy, who tells me that when one part of himself questions his worth in retirement he takes the time to have a quiet conversation with himself to better understand what is the specific element of unhappiness is that’s currently significant.

He goes onto say that trying to heap together the current and specific issue with all the other issues as just general unhappiness or a malaise associated with being retired is just too broad to control, too much to think through. He writes down the specific element of unhappiness and the details of the conversation with himself in case it ever pops up again.

The same as any career experience, you want to assure you don’t need to
resolve the same issue multiple times. I’ve put that into practice and have been both frightened by the size of my list and delighted at the number of repeats I have been able to avoid. Using this method has also helped me to avoid what I would call spinning conversations with myself.

So many elements contributing to a veritable cacophony of complaints is never productive in a private conversation, but I’ve had many of those.

A significant element of my personal stresses is change management, coping with the constant changes in a retired life.

In a working life change management is largely prescribed where as retirement is be your own boss and deal with all new issues you haven’t dealt with before. I have readjusted My plans once again and have taken on a low stress, low hours consulting contract with previous business acquaintances. I would have happily moved forward working with the local vendor I spoke of in my last post, but this feels more comfortable.

Wow, am I learning a lot and having very impressionable conversations with myself regarding the feelings and details of working vs not. I now understand (better) what I will be stepping into when I re-retire; the conversations with myself much more focused and reasonable.

At this point, I don’t expect to extend my working contract past 6 months. I’m anxious to try again, exert more personal control and focus into my retired life and to have meaningful and durable retirement conversations with myself.

I’ll recognize if I need a working diversion in the future and act accordingly, but more than that, will realize the absolute value of my individual, daily retirement plans, talk frequently and honestly with myself, and, as I did my entire career, identify and manage my accomplishments and happiness.

Catch you in a few months and best of luck in your continued pursuit of happiness.

Comments for 1 yr in, retired at 60. Part two: the journey continues

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So On It Goes
by: Canadian Retiree

I really enjoyed reading your piece about your retirement journey. Yes many of us don’t find the fulfillment others find in retirement.

I’m afraid retirement is a bit of a conundrum for me. I read a book called the "Retirement Maze " before I stepped off the cliff into retirement. It’s been a maze of trying to navigate my way through retirement. I’ve concluded it’s not for everyone.

I don’t know how much longer I would be able to do my job because it is a physically demanding job. My age would have caught up with me eventually. I just wish some days I had planned retirement better.

It seems to me retiring works well for those who have grandkids and lots of family and friends to fill their time. I have only my husband and we drive each other crazy sometimes. He is retired as well. He’s not the travelling type either. I thought we might do a bit of travelling but so far nothing.

Of course the Covid has put a damper on everything. I was taking art lessons but it’s on hold.

Thanks for sharing your journey.

Thanks and a couple responses to questions
by: Anonymous

Hi Partha, thank you for your comments. The original post can be found in this same category and is titled: "1 yr in retired at 60 I had every one of the feelings and psychosis listed on this page" (https://www.retirement-online.com/1-yr-in-retired-at-60-i-had-every-one-of-the-feelings-and-psychosis-listed-on-this-page.html)

To Joe- my favorite place was a lovely, serene spot of forrest behind my house. I had conversations in many places at home and away but always took the time to remove myself to a quiet spot and be thoughtful, focused, and outcome based in my discussions.

1 yr in, retired at 60...
by: Partha, Chennai

Hi Kevin,

I enjoyed your post immensely. And I completely agree with Wendy!

I missed your first post. Is there a way I can access it please? I am most interested.

Cheers,
Partha

Retirement Journey
by: Joe W.

I liked the way you are approaching retirement life in your first year of the journey. Yes, it's a long-term journey.

Where were you when you had all those discussions with yourself? At home or somewhere else?

My first year involved cleaning my working life slate entirely. Staying at home is not easy when you're trying to make some changes for yourself.

I spent an average of 15-20 days per month(all seasons) walking in our own local River Valley contemplating what I'm going to do next. I expected some divine intervention to tell me what my purpose in life was suppose to be.

All I received was some great exercising opportunities in a nature environment.

The point is YOU must decide what your retirement options are and what you want to do with all your surplus time.

Be active, creative and productive and experiment with different options, until you hit on the options that are right for you. Enjoy!

Retired at 60
by: Dean/Nashville

Like you I play retirement coach myself whenever I start to fell a little blue. I call it counting my blessings.

I first put my finger on what is actually bothering me and then put it in retrospect to what's going on in the world.

The biggest mood enhancer for me is being involved with other people and being helpful whenever I can.

Sometimes just getting out of the house for a little while for a walk around the block or even a walk around the yard.

Different things work for different people so I guess we each need to find what works best for us.

This Online Community has also been very helpful for the last 8 years. Thanks Wendy!

Dean -- you've been visiting EIGHT YEARS? Yikes! Thanks! Wendy

My solution - create Wisdom Mentors (Cincinnati)
by: Bernard Kelly - Geelong

1 yr in, retired at 60.

Part two: the journey continues

Part three: creating Wisdom Mentors (Cincinnati)


BOOST YOUR ZEST FOR LIVING

(BECOME A MENTOR)


To maintain your zest for living, why not become a mentor to the younger generation?

This is how it can work for you:

Firstly decide to create a roundtable that would meet once a month, and give it an appropriate name – such as Wisdom Mentors (Cincinnati).

Next you would promote it on social media locally, both on those news updates channels as well as those more specialised – such as Home Based Business (Cincinnati), or Entrepreneurs (Cincinnati) or Startups (Cincinnati) etc. The message should be "come and share with us your goals and expertise – maybe we can help".

You’ll be able to attract both mentors and mentees with a message like this.

And be sure to collect email addresses to enable you to promote your event again next month.

The ripples gradually spread, and you (and your fellow mentors) will have done something noble for your community, as well as boosting your zest for living in retirement.

Let me tell you a story - during the past month, I was sitting beside a woman who said – in general discussion – "I would like to start a business". Well – it only took me a moment to volunteer, and it turns out she is a "closet" artist, with all her artworks hidden in a cupboard at home.

Now she is an extremely talented botanical artist, and has now decided to encourage others to see the beauty in nature, the way she sees it herself. But she had no resources (or so she said) nor any concept of what could be possible.

All I have done so far is to encourage her to use her teenage grandchildren to help her develop a fully commercial website on WIX. Suggestions how best to promote that website is next, including how to build an email marketing list.

She is excited. And so am I.

YOU are a Life Coach :)
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

You DO realize, don't you, that you are pretty much playing Life Coach/Retirement Coach to yourself.

That's not easy to do, but if you can get into these deep discussions, keep focused and don't let your mind take you in 20 directions -- you will find direction from yourself!

The key is determining when SELF LIMITING BELIEFS pop back in -- they may or may not be true, based on past life experiences, etc .

Question your thoughts and actions, you'll get there!

Kudos! Good work! Best Wishes!

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