258 days

by anonymous
(philadelphia)

I'm not retired yet. I'm 59...and a half; the only time you use half numbers is when you're 4 and approaching retirement.

My wife is sick and likely always to be. My wife was the matriarch. She ran everything and I was the secondary partner.

Since she's gotten sick, I've taken over the finances, etc. I always did all the housework, so that's not bad, but I'm finding out there was a lot that we let go on outdoor repair, and I feel a lot of guilt over that. I also know that most folks I know have saved more money...thus more guilt.

My wife has multiple issues, Type 2 diabetes, just had corotid artery endoctomy, and was diagnosed with parkinsons. Now they're questioning the parkinsons diagnosis, but she has trouble walking any distance and her cognitive skills are vastly diminished.

She still is happy, and I want to do all I can to keep it that way, but I feel like I could have done and could still do a lot more. I second guess letting her eat how she did, not pushing for more exercise or more trips to the doctor, etc.

So...258 days to retirement when I turn 60 and my boss wants to promote me...not a lot more money but a little. He's been good to me and says I can work from home and not travel. He understands my time is limited with working. I just don't know. I'm really looking for the door more than any career aspirations.

Anyway, that's where I am. I struggle with doing house mods or moving. She doesn't want to move and doesn't see need for a stair lift...at least not now. I would just rather do those type of things a year or two early rather than later.

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