40 years and scared

by Ellen. NY

I'm retiring in 2 days from a job of 40 years. It is so much of my identity. It makes me feel competent and i really enjoy the people I work with. But most of my contemporaries have retired and things at work have changed so much, I am tired of it.

But I'm scared I won't feel appreciated or valued anymore. My husband has a business and I do the paperwork, but I am going to miss the intelligent conversations and people who value what I know and say.

Who will I talk to that can hold an intelligent conversation and is interested in what I have to say and have a few laughs?

Comments for 40 years and scared

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40 years and scared
by: marge/NewJersey

I agree with Jeff from Ohio. I joined the local seniors club and there are people all different retirement ages. They play games go on trips and socialize. I made the decision to get up off the couch and very glad I did.

Common Feelings
by: Gail, California

I think if we are honest with ourselves, we all have to admit that leaving something familiar for something uncertain is scary for everyone. Sure, we can call it excitement or anticipation, but change is scary.

But change also brings opportunity. Opportunity to try something new, to discover a hidden side to ourselves. Maybe there are talents we have not had time to develop. Or, maybe new places to explore. Or, new friendships or relationships to nurture.

Allow yourself the freedom and time to regroup. Begin to think about things you want to explore. Then, when you are ready, take a step in some direction. You may discover something you never expected! And THAT'S exciting!

Find a hobby and indulge!
by: anonymous/ Canada


All of us retirees, whether we have retired by force (laid off/ health or family reasons...) or by age, will become a nobody as soon as you step out of that office/ workplace for the last time! You will have nothing in common with your work colleagues anymore as you are no longer "in the loops"! Don't even try as you will be depressed and think even lower of yourself!

You must reinvent yourself! Take up a hobby, like a new sport or something that you used to do but never had the time. It is important to keep in shape as you will have a long time to live and you want to enjoy life! Take up a new cause--lots of places need volunteers, but please remember that you are there to help out...not to take charge of the place and put others out of work! Do something that you always want to do, but never had enough time, like extensive traveling or even backpacking all over...safely. Do your homework as dreaming of and planning a trip is half the fun! Or you could help out in occasional babysitting or elderly care for your loved ones, if you wish.

For the first time in your life: You're only answering to yourself and no one else! It does take time to adjust as we all have found out...but the joy and freedom is immense!

Indulge in your retirement and embrace! You have earned it!

Move on!
by: Wee-zer

I found even when I was employed I never found any outsiders who I didn't work with who were interested in my work.

I think I had a really interesting, great job and in my opinion made for great conversation on things about it. If I were to be in the company of a person who had an interesting career, I would be all ears to hear what they did, how they liked it and so forth. But sadly, no one seems to care at all.

I guess unless we run into a like minded person we just have to move on to other topics of conversation.

With the job I had I started as a temp and it evolved into a full blown career. To this day that job was the best thing that happened to me especially financially! J

ust move on to other interesting things with people who are involved in it. Your career is over. Now it is time to spread your wings.

Keep on
by: Sherry/NC

Y'all know what; life keeps on going whether you move with it on not!
If you move with it you will become a more interesting person if not
you will be dull and boring!

who you are
by: Diane, Canada

I found that people are not interested in who you were before. I was a govt manager and no one I met could relate to that or were even interested.

What I did find was a number of new friends, all who have their own history and stories. You end up creating your new you and have a lot of different things in common with the people you meet.

Some of them age related but also some of them interest related. So my advice to you is relax and begin inventing yourself as who you are without the 9-5 person.

I don’t know if I can even write anymore
by: Plp green bay

Honestly, what a insult that you think retiree’s instantly become dumb. I read more, I keep up with events more, I take classes at local college, as many seniors do, more, and most importantly I have time to do it now. My world is bigger, not smaller. Your the second person that posted recently with such an arrogant attitude that maybe you should just go back to work.

Good luck
by: Sherry

I do enjoy having an intelligent conversation myself! You will have freedom now and can go out into the wide world and meet many people!
It will all work out, but you have to make the effort!

Plan now
by: Jeff /Toledo, Ohio

Finding good conversation will be a problem and will be hard to deal with. I found going to my senior center to be good for me. I have to say some centers are nothing more than a coffee shop.

The one I use offers so much and the chance of meeting someone to chat with is very high. I have to say getting myself to get up and go is hard as I would rather just sit on the couch, but I know enough to realize I must push myself to get out do things and enjoy life.

Get out and enjoy life, some good conversation and friends

by: Anonymous

Well, I think the answer is "no one". I find it to be liberating and maybe a little humbling. The world goes on without hearing from me much at all.

That does not change who I am. I am valuable for who I am within, not what I say out loud.

I also just get out in the general public - take the bus, etc. Go places like restaurants. Go alone. You will see life happening and it will bring you smiles.

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