A, B, C's for Seniors... The New Aging Alphabet!


A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now - The New Aging Alphabet

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
Perhaps card-i-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.

H- High blood pressure - I'd rather it low;
I- For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend;
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind.

*I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping 26 doctors fully employed!!!

Comments for A, B, C's for Seniors... The New Aging Alphabet!

Click here to add your own comments

Negative Attributes
by: Anonymous

This read as a sad and mean spirited poem. I hope to find one that makes someone feel happy to be where they are and not reminded of all the bad.

Worth passing around
by: Oakwood Village Senior Apartments

Can I have your permission to publish this in our Independent Living Newsletter? If so, please let me know who to give credit to?

Wendy: This is on several senior websites, all without the author name. I don't know who submitted it here either! It was too good not to approve, but I did research for a name, but didn't find any. Just use good ole "Anonymous" as the author. OR Compliments of Retirement-Online.com :)

What a gift..
by: Regina

I really think that script was really fantastic. You have a gift of gab.

Aging Is Scarey!

This definitely sums it up! Thanks for sharing.

An Alphabet of Optimism
by: JoAnn

Your poem is structurally very good. It would be great if you would write a similar poem about the positive attributes of aging. Yes, I believe there are many.

The New Aging Alphabet
by: Patti - La Grange Park, IL

If you could find someone to illustrate this and publish it, it would be a best seller - hysterical. You have talent - keep plugging away!

What an alphabet
by: Donna Augusta, Mo

Great ABCs love your humor. Wow funny how we think now.

New Aging Alphabet
by: Joe W.

Just wondering if you have self-published your writing outside of the Retirement Online? I notice that there are many talented seniors in the liberal arts field but for some reason they don't want to take their talent seriously; or get to the next higher level of creative productivity.

What about you?

Joe W.

Now I Really Am Depressed
by: Linda/Nevada

This alphabet confirms that old age is the last dismal part of your life. Heaven help us all!! This was probably supposed to be humorous but I don't see the humor. I only see the ugly truth about where my life is headed.

Spot on!
by: Sheila, Cambridge Canada

Couldn't have done better myself!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Own Story Here (others can provide feedback).