A Retiree's Halloween NIght

by Tom Damron
(Plano, Texas)

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
You lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,'
And you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or...'
And you can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night,
You have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the Neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...


1. You keep having to go home to pee.

No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.

Comments for A Retiree's Halloween NIght

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What a visual
by: Pyrmum

Absolutely hilarious. Each one had me picturing it.

I read this when having my morning coffee and it set me up for the day. All day I kept remembering parts of it and started laughing - which confused everyone around me.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Happy Halloween
by: Irwin Lengel

You just made my day!

Rather busy at the moment but felt like I needed a break so I read your post and it put a great big smile on my face.

Loved your post, especially the one about having to go home so often to pee. Sounds so familiar.

Thanks for the uplift.

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