A Retiree's Halloween NIght
by Tom Damron
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You keep knocking on your own front door.
9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.
8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
You lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,'
And you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or...'
And you can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night,
You have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the Neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.