Adjusting to Retirement is a struggle, I didn't think would happen.

by Sharon, New Zealand

Retired December 2019 along with my husband. All was great initially.

Traveling in RV as planned. Was meant to be for 5 months but because of Covid was 10 weeks. Had to come home for 6-week lockdown.

I then had a Stroke, disbelief, I felt healthy, very healthy always walked and did Yoga.

I am fortunate with my physical recovery but it has really hit me just how short life is. I think after reading some posts here I'm not only still adjusting to Retiring but thats been complicated by the Stroke.

I am now medicated for depression and have slight balance issues but I still want to feel fulfilled with life but at 66, I feel like I'm on a down hill slide.

How to change this mindset?

Comments for Adjusting to Retirement is a struggle, I didn't think would happen.

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by: Carol from West Chester

After much searching I found a therapist that can be helpful.

The first person I had said she did not do retirement as that is a whole different ball of wax. She was good for what I needed while working out some problems pre retirement.

After retirement I tried various therapist: one told me to think soft, furry kittens and pray. Another got my age wrong and while flattering did not help my mindset about death and aging. A few more and I found a lady a bit younger than myself who was very helpful.

My point is this: don't settle for a therapist that makes you feel bad or doesn't seem to be a good fit.

The helpful therapist I found was in a practice where the kitten person practiced. At first I felt odd passing the person I stepped away from but it is my health.

Your mental health is important, search until you find a good therapist fit for you.

Adjusting to Retirement
by: Bernard Kelly - Geelong

Hello Sharon in New Zealand

As an external party and volunteer (amateur) psychologist, we can all congratulate you on your progress - simply by asking, in this public forum, for assistance how best to overcome depression, you are already well advanced in your initial recovery phase.

In the next phase, you'll need a noble purpose, a noble project.

Why not a Christmas charity?

I have a colleague here in Geelong who - each year - gathers her tribe and erects a tent called Elf Squad.

You can find her profile on linked in - look for Stephanie Beitzel: Founder, Elf Squad Inc. She has a background in tech so her charity has
a focus on Toys & Tech for Families in Need.

And indeed Elf Squad has its own page on Linkedin and probably on Facebook too.

As you're in retirement mode - whatever that means - you probably don't want a full-time hobby, but something like this may just be perfect for someone with your quandry.

Post a comment here and let me know what you think.


Bernard Kelly MBA
Geelong, Australia

Exercise will help
by: Michael - Upstate NY for the summer!

Sharon - are there ways that you can still walk and enjoy yoga - perhaps with the aid of a partner?

Your life is not over. Yes, you had a stroke, but it sounds like you are on the road to recovery.

Just find ways to adjust to your physical limitations. And, keep in touch with your doctor and therapist to deal with your mental health issues.

Also, it might help to find a support group for stroke victims in your area.

What To Do?
by: Joe W.

@Sharon, It's normal to be confused about retirement life after leaving your traditional career.

The upside is that you get to choose from a multitude of retirement options that are a best fit for you.

Retirement Online is a great site to start with. It will help you sort things out and get you motivated to find an option(s) that could provide you with a purposeful and meaningful retirement life.

I see that you live in New Zealand. I'm based in Canada. I also help Australians and many other countries at the website -

If your interested in small business as a seniorpreneur my main website is found at the end of these articles. Good Luck!

by: Anonymous

Well, Adjust your belief system? I prioritize certain things (I am in the process of diagnostics for end stage cancer - for sure I am not spending last days cleaning, same with bickering with ex).

How I changed my mindset.
by: Nancy

When you think about it, retirement is one of the hugest life changes you will go through. From 60 to zero all at once. It left me reeling for at least 2 years. And I still have dreams about working, and I am slightly envious.

It has been almost 10 years. Now I try to be grateful for each day I don't have to go to work, because as you said, I am seeing how short life is. I also have hobbies which are fulfilling.

There have been people on this website who have criticized those who are having an adjustment to retirement. However, having said that, this group, Wendy's group, has been most helpful reading stories of people who had struggled just as I had. I felt like I wasn't alone anymore.

I wish you all the best with your recovery from your stroke. My sister had a stroke 2 years ago.

Life happens
by: Sherry/ NC

It would be good for you to have a therapist to talk to.

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