After retirement, living 24/7 with inactive husband will be scary!
My husband retired from teaching 17 years ago and became a "couch potato," while I have fortunately continued working since then in a pleasant and creatively satisfying administrative job.
Now my office situation has changed, with a nasty, impatient and intolerant manager running the show. My immediate supervisor (and very good friend) and myself have decided that we will retire at the end of this year. I know I won't miss the usual pressures of this job - plus ever-increasing demands from the new manager - but after 29 years working successfully in this career, I realize that my identity is very much wrapped up in it and retirement will mean suddenly being at home with my husband all the time!
He does nothing towards maintaining the home, but instead lies in bed most of the day watching sports on ESPN. He is not interested in travel or in leaving his "den" for any outings, dinners out, entertainment or even going for a walk.
His retired guy friends and I have tried over the years to encourage him to find some stimulating volunteer work but he appears to be very contented in his nest and is not at all interested.
Although I do care about him, it is becoming increasingly and frighteningly obvious that he and I have very little in common after 30 years of marriage. I am wondering how I will be able to create a "new" life for myself so that I don't go crazy watching him - watching TV - while he chews gum relentlessly!!
Thinking about it is very, very depressing. Can anyone relate to this scenario?
Wendy: After 17 years of playing couch potato, it seems not likely that he will change after you retire. If it had been a year or two, I'd think Depression... but seventeen years? Has he ever visited a doctor (or does he think this IS retirement)? What a sad waste of his retirement years!
IF you intend to keep busy, start looking at your options now: part-time work, volunteer opportuntities, hobbies/interests, etc. You cannot stay in that house and fall into the same dark deep hole. Join a gym, join a book club or an Out to Lunch Bunch... whatever, just keep moving!
Please keep us updated... praying this situation works out for you!
Wendy's other site... because Aging Matters!