Alcoholic Family Member

by Sherry/NC

My son is an alcoholic. He is separated from his wife and lives with me. I am very sad, not depressed, and I have anxiety because he is
living with me.

He needed somewhere to go and I am a caring person. I wanted him to be in a safe place. He is nice to me.

I have never been through this situation before and I don't know what to do. I am looking for an Al-Non group. Is this what I need?

He has 2 boys and continues a relationship with them. He visit them every week.

Thank you for your advice.

Comments for Alcoholic Family Member

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There is hope.
by: Jolisa. Syracuse

My dtr just got out of rehab at Lakeview Health in Jacksonville,Fl...she was there for 30 days...excellent program...now she is doing on-line AA 3xweek with 9 other recovering folks...she does individual therapy 2xweek....you can call Lakeview Social Worker for referral in your area.
My dtr is a changed person...so much healthier.

You have to work the AA program daily faithfully or you relapse. Best Wishes Hugs ❤❤❤
Boundaries
by: Alison NY

I understand. Totally. I have a son fighting opioid addiction and I am just lucky he still has his own place.

You need some distance from his issues, while still providing support. Can you help fund a new apartment for him? Can you ask him to stay with friends for a day or two a week so you have your house to yourself.

Don't give up on him. Addiction is a disease. And a very lonely one.

But do find a way to get your home back. I don't know what I would do if I could not escape to my own place and be alone....
In the same boat/ alcoholic family member
by: Anonymous

Hi I am in the same boat of living with a functioning alcoholic for many years .

Alanon is a great starting point. There are also online programs. I go from mad to sad to frustration and acceptance. Good luck .

It is not up to us to make someone stop drinking . It ya extremely difficult when you unconditionally love someone.

You need a support system. I believe Alanon is also available online . Take care .
Al-Anon
by: Gail /California

My husband died from alcoholism in May 2022. I have been an active member of Al- Anon for 4 years. Each Al-Anon group has its own personality.

The key is finding a group that you feel comfortable with, attend consistently, and actively apply the principles to your life.

I believe the organization can help anyone who is willing to work the program.
Al-Anon
by: Nancy

My sister is a recovering addict. I have been in Al-Anon for years, since she started going to AA. It has been so, so helpful. Al-Anon.org.

You can find a meeting in your area, and if attending a face to face meeting is available, do it online. There are online meetings as well as e-mail meetings. I have done the e-mail meetings for several years.

I wish you all the best.
Alcoholic family member
by: Anonymous

I know your sadness. My son lives far away but is a functional alcoholic. Pray they do not kill anyone in a car. My son is also a loving father and son. He does not ask anything from me, in fact is generous.
Alcoholics and Codependency
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

Sherry,

My sister went to Al-Anon many years ago for her first husband. Codependency is what I remember she learned about, and changed...

From a quick Google search:

"Alcoholic codependency is when an alcoholic's addiction relies on another person's actions and behaviors. A codependent relationship between the addict and their enabler allows for a comfortable situation where the addiction can thrive and grow.

People in codependent relationships tend to have a problem where one person doesn't recognize boundaries and the other person doesn't insist on boundaries. Thus, one person is controlling and manipulative, and the other person is compliant and fails to assert his or her own will."

I hope these definitions will help you! This is definitely not an easy thing to deal with... sending prayers your way!

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