Bored after six months, lost confidence and motivation !

by Jo
(Melbourne)

I retired voluntarily at age 61 with a good pension, after 40 years in a stressful job.

For the first six months, I was full of energy and ideas. I painted the house, joined a gym, started swimming, caught up with friends and family.

Now at the start of 2018, I have hit a real slump. Can’t get motivated to do anything and have no energy.

My relationship with my partner of 17 years is going downhill and I am not sure I want to stay with him for the next chapter of my life.

What is going on with me ?!

Comments for Bored after six months, lost confidence and motivation !

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Time for a Change
by: Joan @ Newport, RI

There are so many Retirement Blogs online that are very helpful. For me as a RN for 46 years in a variety of jobs, I took voluntary retirement from my last job that I loved, at 65 years old, because my husband had been retired for about 3 years, + He wanted me to join him.

Now in my 4th year, I have to say retirement is not a goal, but an ever-evolving process.

What you are going through, like another commenter said, is one of the phases of retirement: from the honeymoon->reality stage. You will need to slow down to reassess, and there is nothing wrong with this part.

I find, because there are 4 changes of seasons here, with each one, we have routines that we follow. Suddenly, you will find yourself in a sort of routine, even with finances, as we retired without pensions.

Things that once interested me, I no longer have an interest; i.e. going to the gym. We enjoy walking by the water in Newport, RI when we can and on the beaches in the summertime. I cook, have plants, read daily, nap and find different interests along the way.

I hope that you too, will do the same !
I've been there, there is light ahead
by: Lynda

Hi: I look at everything from a spiritual perspective, and because my retirement/relationship situation, is similar to yours, and I have begun after about 2 years to process things, I have this to add to the comments of the others.

I do think there is such a thing as "divine discontent." And I think it might manifest exactly as you are describing.

There is a fine line between incapacitating depression and "Divine discontent, and sometimes they are very closely interwoven.

I lost my job and marriage of 27 years within two months of each other. At the time I felt like it was just overwhelming, so I did go into a phase of depression/"pull back," focused only on people I really trusted, read all the books I could on growth through loss (and job loss is high on the stress scale whether you expected it or not), meditated, forced myself to excercise by walking in the summer (parks and nature settings were the most helpful to me) and by "dancing" in the living room in the winter (just putting on music I enjoyed/walking around in the house, doing arm movements, side to side steps, etc--just gentle stuff). In the lonely evenings I watched miniseries I streamed, or from DVDs I bought on ebay.(cheap) I curled up with my dogs on the couch--evenings only--(I did set rules about TV watching).

But overall, I just listened to myself, really assessed my life, and resisted the inclination to "plan" my way out of it. There is a Spirit within you that wants to communicate, and the situation you find yourself in, as did I, is perfect for cultivating the ability to listen to that spirit. Maybe you spent your whole life planning and "doing" and now your spirit just wants to "be."

Maybe therapy is part of the way your Spirit can communicate with you, or may help you remove blocks to hearing it. This could be an option if your depression is affecting your functioning, "desire" to function everyday.

But overall, in life we are exactly where we need to be, and move own only when we accept and grow from whatever state we find ourself in.

Physical activity via walking or dancing took me out my mind and into my body, and as you strengthen physically you strengthen mentally and emotionally. You just get stronger.

Love and light to you from someone who has definitely walked your path.
Bored
by: Roadrunner53

I was laid off at age 58 years old. I was collecting unemployment and looking for a job without any success. My Mom was alive and we'd shop and do things together until she got sick a year later then died. She was my best friend.

Fast forward 7 years I will be 65 this year and am also bored and have no motivation. Some people know exactly what they want to do when they retire. I do not have that knowledge. I have no children either so no focus on grandchildren. I have no hobbies or real interests. The only thing I have done off and on is selling stuff on ebay.

When I lost my job, I lost my identity. Maybe you can search for a part time job. Take some lessons in pottery, jewelry making. Look up some YouTube videos on learning how to make crafts to sell. Volunteer at some organizations. Senior center activities, YMCA. Maybe even get some therapy for you and your significant other to find out what is going on.

I think you are like me a bit. You worked all you life and it is like 'now what am I supposed to do'?

I have got to start taking my own advice on doing something!
Sounds Like We Are Twins
by: Alice (DC)

Thank you, your words were exactly what I have recently been going through. Literally, your sharing has been a saving grace for me.
Smooth Sailing To Retirement
by: Joe W.

Jo, I think that I have a possible answer for you. Looking at your brief storey I see that everything is in a great place except for your current relationship. The longer you put up with a bad relationship the more it will pull yow down and probably set you up for more anxiety & depression.

I would start shopping around for more uplifting and positive friends (maybe some of them you can find right here on Wendy's Retirement Online Community. Get out and enjoy your well earned retirement!

Good Luck!

Joe W.
Seniorpreneur
Thank you both for your feedback
by: Jo

I think you are right - the first six months was like a holiday feeling where I threw myself into things with great energy ! Now I need to look at the big picture ie if this is forever, how do I want to live ?

Re my partner, he is home all day and really gets on my nerves - that’s a big adjustment too. I just had a few days on my own and loved it. I am wondering if I need a partner at all......

Time to get some counselling perhaps.
Slow Down and Take Stock
by: Carrie/Tx

I'd like to suggest that having worked all those years, then thrown yourself into projects after retirement, you are finally starting to slow down and assess your life.

It's a good thing to stop and take a good look at how things are, and how you'd like the rest of your life to be. Journaling helps me. It's really a healthy thing to do. Maybe you need to step away and take stock for a while.

Just my two cents, for what it's worth!
Get Help!
by: Wendy

Jo,

I wanted to suggest the Winter Blues as the cause of your feelings, but since its 68 degrees in Melbourne today, I just checked online, wrong!

You were in the "honeymoon phase" of retirement. Like an extended vacation that comes to an end, now you simply are retired.

Who are you and what will you do for the rest of your life? It's BIG.

Talk to a trusted friend, a doctor, or whatever but do something before you fall into that deep hole of depression that makes life more diffficult to climb back into.

Who knows? Your lack of energy could be physical, like thyroid, and throw your whole mindset in to a whirl...

Get checked out and jump back into life again.

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