Change of Plans

by Craig
(Minneapolis, MN, USA)

My retirement plans took a sharp detour when my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia soon after I ended my business career. I now have a new career --caregiver.

I opted to care for her myself rather than trust her welfare to memory units in professional care facilities. I know of several men who blew off caregiving their wives, but, were our situations reversed, she would have cared for me as long as was physically possible, so bailing out on her was not an option.

Now I keep really busy in my retirement and don't waste very much time in a day. It is not exactly making lemonade out of a lemon, but there is an exquisite feeling of satisfaction that comes from doing the right thing.

Comments for Change of Plans

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possible treatment
by: Anonymous

HI, I do not know if it will help your family however, I began taking coconut oil and turmeric, the spice and it has seemed to help me fight off symptoms, brain scans revealed early signs of problems with my brain.

Change of Plans
by: Ade

Well done, you are doing the right thing and I pray that God will make it easy for youth care for her. God bless you both

by: Barb in Florida

Dear Craig,
Please join our "Friendship Here" online community. Just click on the picture.

by: Goldie


Your devotion to your wife is very touching.
Please take care of yourself also; Caregiving can become more difficult. You may want to find respite care as things progress.

by: Gwen Skinner/Florida


First of all, I would like to say how impressed I am with your devotion and I am sorry for your situation.

I cared for my husband for 10 years (cancer) and it's no easy job. During this period I would sometimes get frustrated, tired, emotionally exhausted working full-time, managing a large home and two dogs; so I started doing some research.

According to most statistics I read when a male spouse gets terminally ill, women stay and care for them. When female spouses get terminally ill, 85% of males leave.

You are truly in the minority and a man of great integrity. Good for you, you've restored my faith in men!


Good for you!
by: Irwin - Lakeland

Kudos to you. My wife and I will soon be celebrating our 53rd wedding anniversary (next month) and I am with you. For better or for worse and I will do the same if she ever comes down with such a disease. Because, also like you, she would do the same for me.

Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing.
by: Len. Pacific Island

You are indeed a great person! It is how it should be between couples. Many blessings to you and your family.

by: Anonymous

Dear Craig:

It was exhilirating to hear your caregiving story.When all is said and done, these are the kinds of things that really count.

I have a similar story. My husband was dying of cancer along with celiac and vascular dimentia. I kept him home because his home was his very life to him, and I knew he would have died in a day if he went into a hospital setting.

Like your wife, my husband had also proved to me in a hundred ways that if I were in need, he would have done the same for me.

Despite the difficulty and challenge, what is more important than caring for someone in this kind of helpless need.

Within the male of the species, it seems as if a kind of interior hero rises up and proves as you did-- that you had an underlying strength and endurance you may not have know you had.

The very best to you both.

A great husband
by: Sandy

You are an amazing husband to care for your wife. Not all spouses would be so willing to do this. You probably have already done so, but reach out to the Alzheimer's Association for help, so you don't get burned out in the role of caregiver. I am sorry your wife has this disease and hope that in my lifetime, I will see more early diagnosis and even potentially a cure.

Please let us on this site know how you and your wife are doing. I know it is certainly a private issue, but sometimes it is good to share and hear the stories of others.

I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers.

by: mildred/tn

Thank God for men like you. She was a lucky person.

Doing the right thing!
by: Irwin Lengel

While such is not the case with us, going on 53 years next month with the same gal, I know I would be taking that same course of action should she suffer a similar fate.

Thanks for sharing. Glad to see that some of us still believe in the vows we made when we said "For better or worse."

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