Delayed Reaction

As a writer leaving a full-time position (booted out the door with a group from my newly merged company) I just picked right up as a freelancer.

I knew I didn't want a full-time job in the corporate world. So between freelance and unemployment checks, I was rolling along merrily for at least a year. Even when the unemployment checks ended, I still had a small stream of freelance.

That's when I decided to apply for a fellowship non-profit. I had always harbored the idea that working for a non-profit would be extremely gratifying. After the 4-month fellowship/course, I realized that paid jobs were pretty much non-existent in the non-profit world for someone my age. And during my hiatus from paid freelance, most of my clients disappeared. So 2 years after my retirement, it all fell apart.

Nothing to do and all day to do it - unmotivated to volunteer - unmotivated to look for paid freelance. Just plain unmotivated. I guess it just finally sank in. Or I don't know what - but I lost interest in most of my activities.

I have sought out therapy and am seeing someone - going through the meds process which has helped a bit. But of course very few shrinks accept Medicare - so the cost is an issue.

This is a long-winded way of saying it did take a couple of years for retirement to sink in, and kind of sink me. I so envy other retired folks who seem to love it.

Maybe someday I will too.

Comments for Delayed Reaction

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therapy should help
by: Laura in Vermont

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and some useful skills. Don't let others get you down. Most places in this country have mental health centers that have public funding or contracts and take Medicare, so don't give up on getting help. There are solutions for your problems and you can have a good retirement. Stick with it!

by: Anonymous

I retired and then lost my 38 year old son to cancer. Count your blessings. Your pity party is very boring!

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