Depression before; much worse after retirement

by Darlene

I am being treated for depression for years talk therapy (stopped) and medication (now on Cymbalta).

I retired at 62. Downsizing and incentive package in a job that I was hating. At first the free time was great. Read books, watched TV. My husband continues to work part time in a job he loves. He also has hobbies, skiing, motorcycle riding, bee keeping, photography. I have 3 dogs that I thought I would spend a lot more time doing things with, but not really.

My brother died this year. He is the last of my family. It really hit me hard. That was in July, but I got hit by a massive depression/anxiety in Nov. Can't function. Can't cook, or clean. insomnia tense stomach. Want to cry. I have no friends to talk to. My son can't relate (25yr).

My husband is trying to cope with my falling apart. Doctor just added Wellbutrin to my meds. Only been a few days. I'm scared to get up in the morning, but I can't sleep either. I try some small exercise, taking dogs on walks, and I am ok during that, but doesn't change how I feel when we get back. I don't want to hear bad news on the TV or read it in the newspaper. Just makes me feel worse.

I'd like to have some friends to talk with that can relate to my mental problems. I guess I should do some volunteer work, but I am not religious and so many seem to be with church groups.

Comments for Depression before; much worse after retirement

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Age 61 today
by: Anonymous

I turned 61 today and took off work to try to enjoy the day. I have also been thinking of retirement because My job now is pretty much not the way I want to spend 9 hrs a day anymore.

I have been at my company for 21 yrs and 8 yrs in my current dept of 17 folks. Within the last few years our dept has hired 7 employees who are now from between 23 to 30.

I have always enjoyed chatting and laughing and have always been young looking and in my thinking ... but this group seems to be spoiled, feels entitled, not interested in handling our customers if they seem to be too much trouble for them. These customers even PAY us well for our services.

Is it just me or do some of these well educated, intelligent, from well off families seem to be that way to anyone else out there? ?

Things I am going to try
by: Anonymous

Thanks for all the comments. I'm looking into doing some volunteering at the hospital. Also
looking in some exercise course, yoga or something.

To the lady with depression about to retire and having just lost her sister. I agree, maybe
continue to work some more, or try part time.
I think it is not a good idea for you to be home alone with your depression and grief right now.

I too take several other meds besides the ones for
depression. I tried to stop the depression meds at the urging of my husband and son. Horrible! I
thought I was going to die.

Deep depression is an illness, treat it a such.

by: sabah

it's high time you shake yourself up and start a new activity. This for sure will change you completely.

I EXPERIENCED THE SAME THING WHEN I retired after 32 YEARS of work in education. Then I decided to start again with higher education institutions as part-time professor I'm now teaching communication and business English.

I FEEL YOUNG WITH young students and learn a lot with them. I HAVE NICE COLLEAGUES and I got rid of this feeling of being always tired and unhealthy. I HAVE BECOME dynamic!!

Try to see what you're good at and teach it to young people. Don't stay always with people your age. You say that you're not religious, that's your choice, but religion usually provides a kind of tranquility and a will to accept your faith, which relieves anxiety. People who have faith accept their condition of life and therefore are calm and have hope.

Well, I HOPE YOU'll think deeply about all this and take the best decision to be happy, instead of relying on meds. The best cure is you, not the meds you take.

You Have Taken a Great Step
by: Anonymous

The fact that you can write about and discuss your situation is probably a big breakthrough. As the saying goes: "You can't go forward unless you know where your starting from."

Life is a Journey!! We all experience some ups and downs!!

yes I understand
by: Brenda.

I can only talk with you and hope you will feel better, You have started well, telling people how you feel and that is good. people do understand, and I am sure there are lots of ladies and gents went down the road your walking now. But You are strong because you told your story, and I admire you for that.

This is a wonderful site and Wendy is so nice and helpful, she is a friend to all. We are all your friends now, so try and think how lucky you are to have so many friends here to help. Good luck. and God Bless you. Bye dear.

God is not too far away from us all. Brenda.xx

by: Anonymous

I'm sorry you are suffering so. You mentioned you have 3 up an assisted living facility or something similar & see if you can a dog or two to visit the residents. They would love it.

Helping Hand, Friendship
by: Granny

Hi, my name is Bernice, i still am a full time career, no retirement for me but i do have depression and can relate to what you say, maybe we can help each other, friendship, share the laughs,the sad, etc, am here if you would like to give me a try. Will talk about any thing but no politics or religion, hope to hear from you soon, talk care

by: Anonymous

I am sorry you are in this state. I have been there myself, and had to take meds to help me through. It helps if your family understand what you are going through. I have tried to do voluntary work but no-one seems to need me, religious of otherwise.

So,(I am a Christian and prayed a lot and that really helped)I decided that I will concentrate on helping at the old age home and not give myself a thought. The less I think of my problem, and help someone else the better I feel. Remember there are people that need you.

Keep strong and believe in yourself.

by: Anonymous

I am a couple of months away from retirement and lost my sister a few months ago. she was my best friend and i cannot say how much i miss her. she figured highly in my retirement plans. we were both single and planning on doing things together like traveling. now she is gone and i have to do retirement by myself. already facing depression i refuse to add medication to the long list of stuff i already take so will have to fight through it. thank you all for suggestions ...

Wendy: Are you SURE you want to retire? Maybe its best if you worked a bit longer to force yourself out of the house every day?

If this is a voluntary retirement, and you are starting off depressed, I think it might be good to rethink WHY you are retiring? Maybe another six months on the job, while you figure out where retirement is headed, might be a better path for you?

I honestly don't think *I* could retire just after losing my sister... well, I could, but it certainly wouldn't be a good time to start off retirement on a positive note.

Just my own thoughts on your reality...

Best Wishes!!

Put Yourself Out
by: Retired Traveller

You started turning inward after retiring and then, unfortunately, were hit hard by the loss of your brother.

I have some retired friends who both volunteer at our local hospital - it sure takes their minds off themselves - and it is not religious-based.
They had been having a lot of anxiety after retirement and their volunteering seems to make a world of difference and they have met new friends.

Get centered with that inner you - I really believe we all are a lot stronger than we think we are. Deep breathing is great, as well as tai chi or yoga - makes a difference.

Wishing you the best!

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