Disability: I grieve for my life!

I had to retire in 2004 d/t disabilities that came about after the birth of my twins in 1998. After 2 weeks, I was over it. This is now 2017, my twins have graduated high school, one lives at home. I have an extremely stressful home life. My medical issues continued to increase a little each year, with this summer being a devastating one for me.


My friends all disappeared when I retired; I have no family nearby. At this point, I feel I am with my extremely passive aggressive husband only for the kids and grandkids, and because I need the insurance. He has always been extremely angry that I retired, and placed a good deal of blame on me. We are basically sharing expenses and a house.

Long story shortened (lol) I now, after recently turning 60, am having a hard time accepting the fact that i am no longer young, or young and healthy enough to just be on my own, and I feel scared for the future and completely trapped. I find myself becoming increasingly depressed.

SO...not only is retiring really hard.... but getting OLDER is as well....trust me.

Comments for Disability: I grieve for my life!

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One day at a time
by: Jim Salem Or.

Hello.

I went through a period of depression myself when I retired. I can only say that you need to take it one day at a time. And do not hesitate to seek help in the form of counselors. Friends. Someone at church. If you don't belong to a church you might consider checking some out. There is more to life than on this Earth to look forward to. My prayers are with you.

I grieve for my life
by: Sherry/ NC

I am sorry to hear about your sad life! You need someone to talk to.

Talking will help to release sadness and anxiety in your life.

Please try to think of the good things happening all around you and maybe this will make you feel better. Do not let your mind control you and it can!!

Go out and buy yourself some flowers today; they will lift your spirit!

Sharing House
by: Anonymous

Hi,

I am in a house sharing with brooding ex husband situation. I just have romantic dinners etc. with myself. Just an idea. I have my red candle burning now.

Ex just bought me some broccoli heads because I need them for today's recipe, which I will dine by myself, but there will be plenty for him when he wants it . He never could commit to me or even a time for dinner, so I accept that. But he is a great grocery shopper.

I am grateful for his provisions, and prefer him over some roommate. I know what to expect from him. He pays for whatever he feels like paying for, which is enough really.

You can adjust....

Dear Disability...
by: Lisa/Canada

We often fail to notice that many retirees were forced to retire (early) due to health issues. We only seem to notice that we've lost the life that we had. It's not easy to find a new routine but important to keep moving forward. Never give up!

Make you life enjoyable again by finding things that you enjoy. Try to keep positive thoughts rather than grieving. If you continually think sad or negative thoughts they will become a habit. Make it a habit to find enjoyment.

We all grow old...if we're lucky!

Always Time For A Plan
by: Chris

Okay at this point your life seems to be craptacular. Just my opinion and certainly I am not a psychologist but, you are describing acute depression. It is a treatable illness and can be controlled.

You have not said what your disability is but if it is physical then you need to identify what your restrictions are. Then you can look at what you can do to change things.

In my own personal life experience when you are unhappy and down you tend to bring everyone else to the same level. Conversely happy people attract happiness.

60 is not old. But 40 can be very old if you are not happy.

Time for a tune up
by: Weezer

I am not an expert in anything but may I suggest that you get out of the house for your sanity. You have a disability but can you drive? If not contact your Senior Center and see what they can do for you.

My Senior Center offers transportation to Dr. appointments but they have volunteers that may be able to pick you up and bring you to the Senior Center. Find some activities there that interest you.

Just rubbing shoulders with others, eating lunch and watching a movie there can be fun. There are knitting groups, book discussion groups, board games, cards. Other stuff you might have to pay for like exercise classes. If that isn't your cup of tea, maybe you have a YMCA you could join. Or look up to see what your Library is offering. They have lectures and other topics going on there.

I read an article on an older guy who bought this loom and he makes hats for people in need. He has made hundreds of them. He is also sick but he loves it.

Maybe you can get your crabby hub involved in some of these activities too. He is probably worried about money which makes us all nervous about the future.

Good luck!

I get it
by: Nancy

I fully identify with your post. I retired 6 years ago. A year and half after my retirement, my health took a nose dive, and gets worse.

However, I try to focus on a day at a time and count my blessings. It is not easy. I wish you all the best.

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