Dumb Things to Do When Retiring

by Irwin Lengel

Either before we retire or after we have retired, sometimes we sit back and ask ourselves foolish questions – you know dumb questions about how our retirement planning and follow-through could have gone.

Below are a few dumb ideas about how our retirement might have gone:

Did you ever sit back and think to yourself, what are some of the things I should have done at the time I retired – you know – something stupid that many of us quite possibly thought about doing and maybe did. Things like:

Gee, now that I am going to have all the time in the world when I retire, in order that I have plenty to do – Why don’t I purchase a home that is much larger than I need and while I am at it, I guess I will get one that is more than I can afford as well.

Also, now that I am going to be retired with a lot of time on my hands – I will watch a lot of TV – more than five and a half hours a day will probably be considered excessive …………..but then one has to allow time for some naps in between.

Or, being a senior citizen with a lot of free time – I might just take up gambling as there are quite a few casinos not too far from my house. What better way for a senior to spend his or her time than sitting in a smoke-filled room sticking quarters in the slot machines while smoking cigarettes and drinking booze.

Since I no longer have to keep up appearances – meaning having expensive clothes to go to work in - I can spend more time shopping for Bermuda shorts, flip-flops, baseball caps, and other useless items for around the house.

When I get bored with cleaning the big house, watching TV, gambling at the casino, and shopping for unnecessary items, I can invite some other older retirees over and we can sit on the front porch just complaining about life in general.

Just had another whiz-bang idea – now that I am retired and doing pretty good financially, I think I will just remind my kids that they shouldn’t expect any money when I kick the bucket as I am spending their inheritance by spending my money foolishly.

Or the reverse could be true – I could become a miser with my money – but why do that – I cannot take it with me – or can I?

Being retired doesn’t mean being dead so we still should watch our health as a dumb move would be to ignore our health. To address that issue – I will join the Silver Sneakers program which is paid for by my Medicare Advantage Plan, but instead of exercising I will just attend and ogle the 80 year-old biddies trying to look 50.

Appears to be a sound plan for retirement to me – what do you think?

Pay no attention to what you have just read as the writer had a serious brain-fart while attempting to write a weekly post!

Comments for Dumb Things to Do When Retiring

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Post more of your humorous mssgs
by: Ken San Diego

I had to laugh at your posting about what retirement means to you. You are spot on about the large homes, going to casinos, and the 'so called senior citizens' trying to act and dress like teenagers!

Have a great day!

Ken / San Diego CA

Love the Sarcasm
by: Crissy Ann

Loved the sarcasm in this post! Sounds like you have enjoyed people watching some retirees! Thanks for the giggles!

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