I am desperately sad. I thought this would be the happiest time of my life. My husband and I were able to retire "early". We are in our mid 50's and though we aren't wealthy we can make ends meet on our retirement pensions. Maybe even get a little travel in. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
We met in our late 20's. My ex-husbands brother and his bestfriend were helping me get away from an abusive boyfriend. The bestfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were married 8 months later. That was almost 30 years ago. We definitely had our struggles to overcome we were both longtime drug users and were on assistance for several years. We met on drugs, married on drugs and together we got off drugs and turned our lives around.
When we were broke we still found time and the means to go camping or just take a road trip. Anything to enrich our and our 2 daughters lives. We had so many good times and spent very little money.
We each found good paying jobs, paid into good pension plans and retired earlier than we ever thought we would be able to.
We found a short sale house 2 1/2 years ago. 4 BR, 1 Bath, open floor plan with a detached garage on 4.5 acres in the mountains outside of San Diego for $149,000. Our mortgage is only $1100 a month which is about 1/2 of what people pay for apartments in town.
So what's the problem, you ask. Sigh. My hisband's idea of the ideal retirement is to sleep late and watch TV ALL DAY. I am bored beyond belief. I didn't sign up for this. We talked about what we would be able to afford to do and I was so excited to finally be able to start living for us and not my job.
I can hear you saying take a class, get a part time job, get a hobby. Unfortunately, I experienced a catastrophic failure of my spine in my late 30's and was diagnosed with carpal tunnel 5 years ago. I suffer from excruciating chronic pain and am unable to drive or use my hands for longer than 15 minutes every half hour. We live over an hour away from civilization.
I try to entertain myself as much as possible but I find myself just laying here watching TV in a different room as we don't watch the same shows.
This man was my best friend for 30 years. We overcame so much. He told me the other day that I have changed but he's dealing with it. I'm not the one who changed.
He still talks about doing things like go to the zoo or the aquarium but the morning were supposed to go he will ask me (after I have put my make up on and am ready to go) "How much do you want to do this because I didn't sleep well or my shoulder is killing me" etc. so we end up not going because if we do go I don't want to listen to him complain all day.
So retirement sucks. This is not how I wanted my life to end. I honestly don't know if I will stay with him but the thought of leaving breaks my heart.
Thank you for listening.
Wendy's other site... because Aging Matters!