Updated 2026. My mother passed at age 97 (2024) RIP. I will be updating this site so I can help retirees again. Write to me!

Everyone needs a chuckle now and then!

by Irwin Lengel
(Auburndale FL USA)

People ask me, at times, if I still have a full deck? My answer is, a resounding YES - but I just shuffle a lot slower now.

We are told as we age, we need to exercise more so I got thinking about joining a gym. But then I thought to myself, at this age, who needs a gym membership, I can work up a sweat just trying to get the peanut butter sandwich unstuck from the roof of my mouth.

Okay, one more - I understand that after Snow White retired, she hired seven senior dwarfs. They were named: Nip Tuck Saggy Droopy Gassy Forgetful and Dizzy.

Are you smiling? If so, I have done my job.

Y'all have a good day now, ya hear!

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Another way to make you smile
by: Irwin Lengel

Good morning, all:

Still do not have a regular routine of posting here but I am working on it.

However, with that thought in mind, thought I would share with you all a couple of thoughts that ran through my mind that hopefully will make you smile.

Here goes:

Ever think of ways to torment a pizza guy when ordering a pizza. Here is a thought: When ordering – ask for the crust on top.

Or this might shake him up: when he delivers the pizza, ask if you get to keep the pizza box when you're done. Chances are he or she will say yes – when they do, act very relieved.

Okay, one more: When ordering a pizza over the phone, tell the guy or gal that you want a pepperoni pizza. Just before you hang up the phone though, say: Remember – no pepperoni, please! Don't wait for a response.

Okay, one more: If math thinks it is tough on its own, why does it have to bring in the alphabets? 3X +4y (2a Xsquared.......

That's all I got for now folks. Hope you are smiling, Y'all take care now, ya hear.