Feeling Sorry for Myself

by Carol
(West Chester PA)

I have great grown children and I appreciate them. I am 79 years old, walk with a walker, and I am a widow. I live alone. And I feel very alone.

My day trip friend is in a nursing home with dementia, the other friend has a very sick husband.

That said, I am having trouble not feeling sorry for myself when I find out my grown children/with families are doing fun things without including me.

In the past two days, I sent out an email -any interest in going into Philly for The Nutcracker Suite and Les Mis. Found out one daughter months ago bought Nutcracker tickets for her family; the other daughter is having a date night with her husband and going to Les Mis.

I should not feel that my kids have to entertain me and take me along with them. If I buy tickets and go by myself, I will feel resentment at being alone at the venues.

Senior centers have morning programs and I am not a morning person. Thought I would make friends at the gym but that has not happened. Weekly I go to seated yoga class with ladies my age, afternoon class.

I am in therapy but with the holidays coming I want to have some fun and not feel sorry for myself. Places don't want old white-haired females for volunteers.

How do other people handle not feeling sorry for themselves?

Comments for Feeling Sorry for Myself

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by: Loyce

We have white-haired volunteers at my local Senior Center and I've made some kind/generous friends. I volunteer and promote the center and am GRATEFUL to belong and contribute.

I understand
by: Pat/Chester County Pa

Carol, I do understand your dilemma and I encourage you to follow some of the advice given from other readers.

Find your own joy as there's lot you can do on your own

I live near you and would be happy to connect with you. Perhaps we can hp each other. Reach out to me if it suits you.

I understand
by: Pat/Chester County,Pa

Carol I can understand your dilemma and empathize. However, there are lots you can do on your own as mentioned in some of the responses.

Don't dwell on your adult children's responses, they have a life of their own so you have to find your own joy. Where there's a will, there's a way.

I live close to West Chester. Perhaps we can connect and help each other.

Feeling lonely
by: Sherry/NC

Hi there, I know how it feels to be lonely. I live alone and have a son and daughter and don't hear from them very often.

I do my own thing; I work. a part-time job in a doctor's office and volunteer at a local nature garden. After I retired, I got busy. I go to church on Sunday mornings and recently made a new friend there!

It does take a while to make a friend, but I know you can do it. Never give up. Maybe you could call your children and ask if there is anything
you can do for them. It is always good to be helpful for family and friends!

Read your Bible daily and pray. It is good to be close to God. Trust him and he will help you.

Get over yourself
by: Diana Norris

I've read the other comments and the only thing I can add is: be thankful, count your blessings, find someone you can encourage, help others, there are a lot of people of all ages you can help from babies to seniors....it's up to you!

Get involved and get out of the house!
by: Michael - Upstate NY for the summer!

Carol - I think the best thing to do is get involved and get out of the house.

Morning programs at the senior center? Then, you have to become a morning person. Those senior centers often have day trips as well.

Who needs those white-haired female volunteers? Your local library, YMCA/YWCA, senior center, The Red Cross, United Way, the soup kitchen, the food bank, your local hospital, museums, and maybe even your local elementary school.

I would also speak about it with your kids and ask them to include you when they attend the Nutcracker and other theatre programs.

I can remember my Nana accompanying my Mom and I to the Philadelphia Flower Show on several occasions. I can also remember that Nana was 77 when she went on a trip to Ireland with a local church group.

I am also reminded of my Great-Aunt Ethel who worked part-time at the information desk at her local city hall. She retired at 96 and lived until 105!

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