I am 64, and was forced into retirement 2 years ago from a job where I worked for 12 years and was involved in international projects.
I also have an adult daughter with severe disabilities who requires full time care. I have had calls from recruiters, but don't feel able to cope with all the challenges of getting caregivers, who never seem to be reliable.
I thought I would really love the freedom and extra time, but now everyday seems to be boring. I try to think of fun things to do with my daughter, but it is difficult to take her places. I have started taking some extra b-vitamins, holy basil and a homeopathic remedy to mitigate the depression. This is helping somewhat.
When I retired, I talked to a lawyer and a financial planner about my options and resources. Now, I find out that I did not get all the facts... now that I am taking my social security, my daughter is eligible for social security based on my benefits. The problem is that now she does not qualify for SSI - which automatically qualified her for food stamps, a day program, fuel assistance, and state funded health insurance. Even though the monthly income is about the same, she is not entitled to any of these services since she is not under the magic "SSI" category. I also did not take survivor continuance option on my pensions because I was told it would reduce her SSI. Now that she is getting social security, income is not a factor.
Too late to change the pension and this will affect us for the rest of her and my life. We also do not have any friends or family here (besides one other daughter).
As people have mentioned the work "friends" are really not friends that have time to spend outside of work. There also seems to be a bit of a stigma attached to being "laid off". I did attend an ex-employee get together, and that was somewhat helpful to see that others experienced the anger and isolation that sometimes comes with a lay-off.
Am going to meet with a social worker at the local Senior Center to see if they can help with some options. Need to figure out a way to increase our social network. Any ideas?
Wendy: I am curious what your occupation actually was... is there anything you could do from home, in the same area of work? Do you have a skill that you might be able to work from home with some consulting work? Just keeping your mind occupied, some of each day works wonders!
Do you have any hobbies or interests? Anything outside your daughter? Like married couples, you do likely need some time away... dinner out with friends or going to the movies. Leaving her for only an hour or two at a time would alleviate your stress over caregivers (I think... as its a short period of time) and might do the world for you to see life in a different light each week.
Just my two cents! Many prayers sent your way!
Comments for Forced into Retirement but having trouble coping
Retirement: forced out: has nothing to do with ablility: just age
I just was offered the option of keeping my job by moving across the country (which the knew I would turn down because they already asked me and I said I couldn't do it since it would mean my husband having to give up his job and move to an area of the country where housing costs much more). Or leave with a severance.
All sounds good I suppose, but since they singled me out I instead feel horribly depressed, embarrassed (I have always been considered a top performer) and angry.
It is a horrible way to end a career (at 62, four years earlier than necessary) and the key reasons seems to be age and salary.
I feel outraged that colleagues I have worked with for over 10 years have simply decided "time to go, old lady" despite my ability to contribute being as good or better than ever.
Wendy Quite honestly, I hear you. Been there with many other retirees who felt just the same.
Most of them didn't let on to co-workers, they smiled happily that they were lucky enough to retire. In reality, they were not happy as they were "forced out". Some actually DID resign, but forced out still.
You made the decision to retire, but what you choose to do after retirement is up to you. The retirement transition period isn't always easy. If you are already angry, depression may follow,.. and that's never a good thing,
You really need to keep busy to stay off the depression path. Visit your doctor if you need additional help.
All I can say, in the end, is what my mother often said to me: This too shall pass... and it does.
I hope you will take time to plan your next few months, especially in the dead of winter which isn't the best time to retire.
Go on vacation, take a class, plan lunch outings with friends... just don't sit there!